I'm in Imblewood living off Arbor Vitae.
I'm on government assistance and I run out of money.
And I had to buy pampers for Jelani.
And I had $11.42 in the bank.
And I remember wrapping my son in the towel.
For two days.
You know, someone said, cause when I tell this story I always get a teary eye,
Someone said: "Do you fabricate the tears cause you've told the story so much?"
No, I'm a momma!
Every time I tell the story I feel it again.
I remember the second day as you said, I had my hand on Jelani's stomach and I said:
"Don't worry baby, mommy will never be this broke or broken again!"
And that day, what shifted for me...
was I was willing, and I don't know if this is gonna sound crazy,
I was willing to completely due to any form of me that I have been.
So that I can birth the woman that I was becoming.
The reason why a lot of people won't become who they want it's that they're too attached to who they've been.
And you hear it all the time when people say:
'I've always been this way!"
Okay, well if that's working for you, keep doing that!
I knew it wasn't working for me any longer.
I had hit my version of rock bottom.
So I was willing to let go of everything and everybody.
See, another reason why people won't get there it's because the doorway is for you to fit through.
You're trying to carry everybody else though cause you're trying to be 'rescue 911'.
And you gotta rescue you first.
I am much more valuable to my family and to my community because I was willing to let them go.
Go to the door myself, teach me, learn myself, condition myself and then come back and get there.
I'm much more valuable to them now.
But I had to go through of window time of 10 years of judgment.
"You are leaving us, hanging out with white people all the time."
"You are going to these crazy countries."
I had to be willing to allow my conviction to make the inconvenienced.
See, we wanna grow but we want us to stay liked by everybody.
I was willing to be my own rescue at the risk of your approval.
Most of us aren't like that.
Facebook is an example we wanna be liked.
Well, I woke up and I liked myself today, so your like is extra.
My job is to like me first.
I was willing to say every day: "Lisa, you like you?"
"Lisa, are you proud of you?"
Every day before I checked in with anybody else.
That's lonely by the way.
Why won't most people do it?
Because it's scary and it's lonely.
So, what did I do?
I was willing to find people who had what I didn't have.
Who were living lives that I wasn't living?
Who believed things that I didn't know about and I was willing to become their student.
I got up every day and I ate a slice of humble pie.
See, when you get to this level, even me 10 years ago, you can get caught up by reading your own fine print.
See, whenever I hear people reading my Bio and before I came on you read my bio, I'm in the back going yeah, yeah, yeah...
Cause I don't want to ever think I arrived.
That bio is old, you should be interested in my future, oh that's my bio, what my future?
Who am I becoming for 2020?
And we get caught up in our bios, we get caught up in our status.
I never allowed that to stop me from going and sitting at the hem of someone and saying: "What do you know about wealth?"
See, because there are three forms to money:
We learn how to earn it, we learn how to keep it and we learn how to grow it.
Well, I learned how to earn it cause my theme song was: "I'm a hustler baby!"
"And I want you to know" everybody with me
"It ain't where I've been but where I'm about to go."
So I was singing that song...
They know, they know, right?
I was singing that song when I wasn't working out of my closet, like my office.
I was in a walk-in closet where you really couldn't walk in and you stepped in and turn.
Right?
And the clothes rack, you know how you have the hanger rack, I had pant hangers in the closet and I had manila folders clipping on the pant hangers.
Those are my client files.
And I was sitting there and I put $2.99 mirrors that you get from CVS, I put them all around my closet walls so that I can make my office look bigger.
I worked at that closet office for 4 years.
Singing that song.
'It ain't where I've been but where I'm about to go."
I knew that.
I knew how to make money.
I didn't know how to keep it cause ain't nobody had them in my family.
So keeping was an issue.
Growing was never an issue.
So I went to people who knew how to make it, keep it, growing.
I went to people who were about serving others to the highest level.
See, I make a lot of money cause I serve more people.
See, all your success is on the other side of service.
People trying to make money, if it begins and ends with money, it's gonna be a short-lived victory.
But if it is about transforming lives then the wind keeps going and going and growing and growing.
So I went to people that knew what I didn't know.
And I killed my ego every day.
Murder my she-go every day.
Cause I've got a big she-go, I mean c'mon!
Right?
Every day, Tom.
And I got hungry and I learned.
I went to the same training 42 times.
Yes, I said 42.
Some folks would stop. "I've been there already, I learned that already."
No, I wasn't there, I wanted to be able to finish their sentences.
I want to know what you know.
I wanna walk like you, talk like you and then I wanna embed me in it.
But success is close, we're just not picking him up.
I was the only African-American person at this conference.
I was one of two women at this conference.
Within the last 29 sessions, I led the conference.
But I was willing to be the student first.
So that's what I did number one.
And number two, I looked at every toxic behavior in my life. Everyone.
You see me go behind my own black curtain.
People don't want to tell on yourself.
You're trying to protect.
You're trying to do 4 things.
You're trying to protect, prove, hide and defend.
If you wake up every day and say: "I have nothing to protect"
"I have nothing to prove."
"I have nothing to hide."
"I have nothing to defend."
"Now, who do I choose to be?"
Because your energy is consumed with protecting, proving, hiding and defending.
But if you let go of that then now you're in creation.
Every day I told myself that.
Every day I got in the mirror and I said three sentences.
And I gave each sentence seven different endings.
And at times I was crying so hard I couldn't understand myself because the ending, the sentence was so difficult to say.
Every day I looked in the mirror and said: "Lisa, I'm proud of you!"
And I found 7 different things to celebrate Lisa for.
Because we are under-celebrated.
Because you want someone to celebrate you more than you're celebrating yourself.
You wanna hear 'thank you' from others more than you're thanking yourself.
You wanna hear other people say "I love you" more than you say "And I love you so".
You are teaching, and I said this on Oprah when I said this on Oprah she was like: "Oh my God, I believe the exact same thing!",
so I knew I had one thing right.
The world is looking at you and follows your example of how to treat you.
How to treat you.
They're following your example of how to treat you.
So how you treat you the world's gonna follow your lead.
So I had to start treating Lisa better because I was everything for everybody, but nothing for myself.
So every day I got in the mirror and completed three sentences: