My daughter is eight, and I am already the most annoying person in her world. Most parents would likely be pretty upset at this, but I am wearing it as a badge of honor, because the girl has to learn how to deal with frustrating people who get under her skin. Without any siblings to teach her the rules of engagement, it is going to have to be me.
I am up to the challenge.
I find it a bit of a conflict that people will say that they think young people face all of these strange new challenges that older generations don't understand, but at the same time, don't look at building skills in the young on how to cope with them. Rather than learning how to deal with annoying people, they are getting trained to complain to an authority. Rather than learning how to deal with interpersonal conflicts, they are being told to get an authority to step in. But, at what point does a child learn the necessary skills of an adult, if they are continually being insulated from the experiences required, the training grounds for these skills?
We are thinking about sending our daughter to a music school in the future, because not only does she exhibit some early talent and a lot of interest, she would also thrive more in a place where other children are enthusiastic about learning. There are only a handful of such children at her school now, and even she recognizes the impact the others are having on her learning, and how she feels about school.
She has to audition to get into this school though, and they don't take many kids, so we aren't getting our hopes up that she will be selected. But, in order to have a chance, she is going to have to improve a few aspects of her musical skill base, which includes singing. Don't tell her I said so, but my wife is a pretty good singer, and I like listening to her sing when she actually puts some effort in - but I am shockingly bad. This surprises some people who know me, because according to them, I have a speaking voice that they feel should be able to sing.
I disagree strongly with their opinions on my voice.
But, putting my inability aside, Smallsteps is the only person I will sing to, and I have been singing a handful of songs to her since she was born. This is definitely not the right voice to rolemodel, but I decided early on that I would put my shame aside and show her that regardless of how good or bad, it is still possible to overcome the embarrassment and do it anyway.
Since starting the piano at the start of the year, she has slowly been putting more intention into her singing, and now that she has decided that she wants to tryout for the other school, she has doubled-down and has been putting more practice in. To support this, I decided to surprise them the other week with a Karaoke speaker and some mics, which they have loved. The only problem is, that the unit I bought was malfunctioning, so I took it back and exchanged it - and the new one doesn't work properly either. So, back to the drawing board on that.
However, to compliment the speakers, I signed up for a Karaoke trial subscription to get access to a host of songs. There are a few out there of varying price and quality, as well as some free ones, but the challenge is getting a good enough list in Finnish. The one I signed up for is Finnish based, so they have a very good list for them to play with, as well as a lot of English music. And in the last couple days, they have both been spending time together singing, and I have even joined in singing a bit at times too.
What is great to see is that Smallsteps has already started improving in various ways, where her voice is strengthening, but also her ability to follow the words has also improved. Kids tend not to be able to speak clearly at speed, but singing can help a lot with their elocution. So, her reading ability has advanced, as has her clarity of voice and I am hoping that regardless of whether she gets into the school or not, she will be interested in developing one of an individuals most potent tool - her voice.
Voice quality is often overlooked, because people overestimate the value of what is being said instead. However, so much of the communication power can come through the way something is said and the tone of how it is said, that people should really spend time considering how they can best use their own voice. And, while there is value in the singing voice quality, there is also a lot of value in just understanding the way to project voice, or combat negative quirks.
For instance, there are people whose voice gets nasal and weak when they are talking to someone they perceive as higher status than themselves, like they are deferring to them. Or, they are unable to take the bitterness out of their voice when talking about someone they dislike. The emotion comes through the voice far more clearly than the words used. Being able to control ones voice in different emotional states is useful. As to is being able to recognize the changes in tone in others, when their own states change.
Singing though is one of the areas where I can't add much instructional value to the conversation. At least, I can't give any technique tips to aid her. I hope my wife will help her advance, but I am not sure she knows either. But, if she ends up going to a music school, she will be able to get coaching, as well as explore more instruments in an environment of kids that are keen to improve themselves also.
We are heavily influenced by the people we associate with. Whether children or adults, if we find something that we want to improve at, it is a good idea to surround ourselves with people looking to improve similarly. And perhaps that also indicates how many things we can improve at simultaneously - but that can be another article sometime later.
Taraz
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