The coin that speaks to me
The coin that I want in my collection to represent the love for my both daughters and even though I saw other beautiful mermaid rounds shared by others or while searching for new silver to buy, none of these rounds spoke to me in terms of that I knew this was the round I wanted for both my daughters. Namely the Mermaid mother and daughter silver round I wrote about a few weeks ago.
When I went looking for sellers in Spain, I quickly found one where it was sold for €28.90 per round, making it affordable to buy two as well. This was a very acceptable price for me which I would have paid gladly.
Getting a bit personal here
Now you all know that my youngest is here with me and some know the story of two older kids that aren't with me which hurts a mother's heart a lot. I've been writing about them and for them for years to build a journal they can read once it's the right time and no obstacles are in our way anymore. It hurts me deeply that they don't even know that we celebrate their birthdays every single year and that they are on my mind every single day since all the years we've been separated.
A mother's heart will always feel some emptiness while the separation continues, yet this is not within my power (hopefully, in the future that is!). I try to find ways to build some sort of legacy you could call it in a way, where eventually when we meet again, they will know that whatever someone told them, they were on my mind every day that passed. To me, it was important to find three silver rounds that I feel represent the love for my children and or represent some sort of memory that I have left.
Can you imagine the way I felt when I saw this coin and knew that this was the coin that I wanted for both my daughters. It was as if a pieces of a puzzle fit together. And then finding it for a price that didn't have a huge premium was the icing on the cake and made me so happy.
Waiting for funds
Now we are facing a few difficulties with our accountant which I don't want to vent about in this post. Meaning that instead of waiting for the salary to arrive, I had to wait until I could cash out some earned HBD and my plan was taking a little cut from that money which was meant for our passport trip to Madrid later this month, to buy these two coins.
My gut told me from day one that time was of the essence and that I should not postpone longer than needed. Every time when I checked the website, the coins were available and made me smile.
Until I was ready to order
To my shock, the coins were sold out and I felt like someone kicked me in the gut. It deeply saddens me to the point that I write this with tears in my eyes. Yes, I'm crying about a silver coin that sold out which I can now only buy with a big premium that I can't afford at the moment so I will not do that because I'm not the type of person that spends irresponsibly when funds are needed elsewhere.
You probably understand that I'm not actually crying about the silver coin but the emotional connection I already created with the coin because of missing my oldest daughter and her brother. I felt happy that I finally found one that I could later pass on to her and now only had one mission left: finding one for my son that I felt the same connection with.
Dealing with the punches
If our accountant didn't f us over as much as he did, I would have considered paying the premium but as we have other goals to work towards while we're now being kicked back for a little as well, I just can't even consider it and so I won't. I just had to vent a bit and get it off my chest so I can move on and find some happy vibes again because I don't like to drown in self misery or sadness for too long. I guess it wasn't meant to be even though I felt like it was.
Thanks for letting me vent here!
I'm sure I'm not the only one that was hoping to get her hands on a certain item and then sadly didn't make it happen. I bet you've been there too at least once in your journey? Anyway, I had to get it off my chest.. thankfully, I have at least managed to get my hands on a few cool Italian coins which I seem to be drawn to lately..
The cool thing is that I buy them from the proceeds of my second hand stuff that I want to part with. Sadly, the mermaid is not to be found on there, I'd consider paying the premium if I'd be able to sell some stuff before buying it but sales are slow and silver moves fast there..
The pictures of the coin are from the Scottsdalemint website btw, not the one in Spain where I was going to order it.. source