The big 20 story did not start today neither did it start twenty years ago, the story has existed before billions of teenagers were born, before I was born and it will definitely continue even when we are all long gone. Growing up, I wanted it all. The accolades, the big achievements, the spotlights, the thundering applause and even at 20, I still want them all but this time with the right mindset. I was only 8 when I started writing and even then I wanted to publish it right away. Looking back now, I wonder what it would have been to publish a book at 8, how under developed it would be and I am grateful I did not push forward with it.
Being a teenager is all about making mistakes, falling again and again and always choosing to rise up again and making the decision to continue. The ages of 8 to 20 are the most conflicting but yet the most beautiful years. The most beautiful and disastrous memories are made over and over again. Friendships are made and broken, ties are made and severed and a journey of self discovery is done as a teenager.
Growing up I was not like most girls, my life did not revolve around my wardrobe and the amount of male friends I had. It had more to do with the magic I could create with my hands, the power of the words I could construct that continued to grow over the years. It was fun growing up as an unusual type of girl, but there were times in that locked up place in my head that only I could visit, I would wonder what it would feel like to also wear those skimpy dresses that clung tightly to their skin that they seemed to be obsessed with, have a guy send me gifts and send sweet text messages. There were times I tried to act out on these fantasies and to say that they ended up badly would be an understatement. At the end of it all, I've come to realise that there is nothing like being you and there is so much power in self discovery. I then understood that there is nothing wrong in being me, there was nothing wrong in wanting to bury my head in a book than attending wild parties, there was nothing wrong in dressing in the simplest of clothes than the skimpy and tight ones, as long as I could take a look at myself in the mirror and smile, as long as I love me, then there is no greater force that could ever bring me down.
The big 20 story is not about the age, it is about being reformed over again till I became a person others could watch out for, an inspiration to myself and a force that the world has to reckon with. These last two decades has taught me a lifetime of lessons. I am trying to understand that although i am a product of my past decisions, I must not become a victim of these decisions, especially the bad ones. These two decades has made me understand that I only need friends that can challenge my spirit to come out and do everything to ensure that I become the best and nothing less, not the ones that clip my wings and make me stiffer than I already were. Twenty years has taught me that I need to cheer myself on and give myself as many praises as I can, because no other myself in the mirror and tell myself "you're beautiful and you are special".
I asked my heart "What do you think about 20?" My heart answered "20 is surreal, but has a lot of scars, infact more scars than you've ever had, but you are strong enough to survive and still become the most successful". 20 is beautiful, 20 is healthy, 20 is daring, 20 is confident, 20 is ambitious, 20 is lovable, 20 is me.
By Olayode Oluwatomiwa Dorcas.