When we hear about ageism, we generally think about older people who claim to have been passed over for a job because of their age. It is nearly always a term used to describe a situation involving a senior or soon-to-be senior. I think there is another form of ageism in our society and that is against younger people as well.
One of the most obvious forms of ageism is against teenagers. 200 years ago girls were considered adults at their first period, now they can’t vote, drink or drive until they’re 18. Not that I disagree with any of these laws, I’m just using it as an example. Perhaps a more apt example is that of the security guard in a shop following teenagers around. Fair? Perhaps not, but statistically realistic.
There is a more subtle ageism today and that is one to do with young mothers. For whatever reason, people are having children later and later these days. I planned to be one of those people. I was going to have a career, travel the world, buy a convertible and then maybe when I hit thirty I would have some kids. I did get married young, but kids were definitely supposed to be years later… for both of us! As it turned out I’m immune to birth control and two children later, here I am married and a mother of two at a tender 27. In fact the marriage part is probably the strangest, as if a person my age in Ireland has children, it is very likely she is unmarried.
This strange trend first occurred to me at my ante-natal appointments. I noticed most women there were mid to late thirties with the odd teenager thrown in and then me - the one person there in the most natural child bearing age - was the odd one out. My first daughter was born abroad and people my age were the majority, so it was very strange for me.
I began to notice further when I am out with the girls - older women give me sympathetic looks - and the 35-40 yummy mummy’s feel the need to give me parenting advice. You really should put a coat on her - she’s freezing or I find this natural teething remedy is so much better than that chemical you’re about to buy! It’s so weird to me! People look at me and see some poor unmarried woman burdened with two (obviously sick and cold) daughters mooching off the state and nothing could be further from the truth!
The husband and I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and I had arranged for us to stay at a nice little B&B. I had called ahead and spoken with the lady to get directions and details about the wedding location and what not. When I got there I introduces himself and she said "oh this must be your partner."
I said "no, he’s my husband." and she looked at me as if I had three heads. Now granted we do have big round baby faces and look even younger than our 27 years, but still, what more do people want?
The worst part for me is socially. Before moving to Ireland I was very social, but I also had people my own age in the same situation as me. We had many couples our age who were married or had children and it was easy to socialise. Here people my age are out drinking and clubbing whereas the people in their late thirties don’t want to hang out with parents ten years their juniors. So what to do?
Stay tuned for much more exciting isms like feminism and piquerism. Good times… good times!
