I remember a while ago and probably a long time ago, I chatted too many topics with my dad, one of the topics that I remembered the most is: "Most people's lives are driven by life, and they have no ideas or choices of their own. Those who have own ideas, and a lot of them just think, in the end, still push by their life, and may even be full of resentment, complain about why no one respect their ideas, only the last remaining people will really break up the idea into small action, and practice in life, through this, bit by bit deviate from the original trajectory, more or less to live the life they yearn for. ”
Well, I admit this is not how he said, and I guess that's not what he meant, but it was processed by my brain because that's the only way to express what I want to say in this post:
You can only rely on yourself if you want to change yourself.
From what counts as "change yourself":
To change oneself means to use one's own subjective initiative and take action to change lives from the original track to the other track.
The original track refers to a person cope with life through the habit.
The habit here is a long-developed lifestyle, such as I am used to lying on the bed every night, holding a computer or holding a mobile phone and watch YouTube; For example, one of my roommates always watch online news every morning, and the first thing he does after turning on the computer every day is to open the news website.
Habits itself may be good and bad, but for the owners of habits, when they follow the habit, they are basically in the "autopilot" state, and do not need to focus too much on thinking about what to do. And life is made up of a few habits, and the collection of these habits are our daily life.
As for the original trajectory of life, it is that we only use habits to cope with the results of life. For example, when encounter changes in daily life, we will deal with it according to our most customary or traditional way. For example, a man sitting next to me on the bus yesterday talked a lot about a girl who confessed her love to him, according to his habit, he talks to his best friend about the confession. And I also listen to their conversation according to my habit(not intentionally though); On the way to school, my bike broke down, clearly there is a repair shop 20 meters away, It was natural for me to start studying which chain was stuck in which gear, and at last the bike was repaired with an oily hand.
The above examples are the reactions of people when they encounter changes in their lives, and they all take the approach they are accustomed to, to deal with these changes, which means that they all maintain the original trajectory of life, or "maintain the fate of the arrangement."
And changing yourself means that when life changes, a person does not deal with and respond to the way he is accustomed to, but takes another response, or in daily life, a person chooses to change some of their habits, deal with things in different ways in life, and thus make life different from the original.
We call this a change of ourselves.
So after making clear the definition of changing yourself, we go back to the phrase we mentioned at the beginning: "You can only rely on yourself on the path of changing yourself."
In modern society, the cooperation and competition between people are very common. There are countless times a person change the situation because of the behavior of another person. For example, I began to listen to English class because of a responsible college English teacher, although forced to. Another example, because something happened in my life and I stop playing "Rainbow Sixth: Siege", my roommate, who had previously played with me, but because of my situation, they uninstalled the game after two weeks.
But these changes are uncontrollable, and according to change yourself definition above, changing yourself should be based on your own decision to make a change, and then make a change to make yourself the person you want to be.
With the help of external forces, because of the promotion of others caused by the change, may also make you become the kind of person you want to be, but this is ultimately external force, and external forces are unreliable.
First of all, external forces and your expectations can never be the same, even in a certain period of time you seem to get along, but as life evolves, your expectations will always change, and everyone is going through different things, this change will not be the same.
Therefore, external forces can be combined, but must not rely on and trust.
I hope this will help you to take a few detours less than me.
One day looking back on the past, I hope that you have become the person you want to be.
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://walkinharmony.vornix.blog/2018/11/19/you-can-only-rely-on-yourself/