Very recently Hasbro put the entire series of the 1980's The Transformers, Generation 1, onto Youtube. Free of charge. I know, if they were wise, they would have put them onto 3speak, but they're not, and they didn't, so Youtube it was. Now, that notwithstanding, this gave me the opportunity to revisit a part of my childhood and begin to binge on a cartoon that I seem to remember as really, really bad
Oy, was I right. Entertaining, but really, really bad.
My, Megatron, look at these Abs you have
(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BZjVkYTc1ODAtMjA5Yi00MjRlLWJjYzAtMjZjMWJlOTEwYTIzXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNzU1NzE3NTg@._V1_QL75_UX500_CR0,47,500,281_.jpg)
I loved The Transformers as a child. Loved them. At least season one. At least the first few episodes. And maybe only when I was able to catch it after school.
To say that The Transformers was a bad cartoon by today's standards is understatement. Truth be told, it was a bad cartoon by the standards of the day. It was outright awful, in fact, but it served a purpose, and that purpose was to sell toys.
Look at all of these toys to buy. Hurry, children! Get your parents to buy you each and every one!
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8f/56/56/8f56562f206c9cfbf408af1aa4074fe5.jpg)
I remember, as a child, watching the cartoon in a more than willing state to suspect disbelief and, for the sake of the story, to imagine that sentient robots that could transform into vehicles could actually exist. It's science fiction, so I can let the bizareness of it slide. What I could not fathom, however, was how the rules of physics were routinely not only ignored, but bastardised into non-existence. Example: Soundwave.
Soundwave
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/1f/ca/75/1fca75faf7634cd8c99f71d02173ec75.jpg)
Soundwave was a cool Transformer; he was the Transformer. He was the Decepticon that every kid wished was an Autobot because he was So Damn Awesome. Soundwave was multiple times the size of a human and could easily pick up a human in a hand. Now, Soundwave transformed into a cassette player that any human could pick up and put in their pocket. WTF? What happened to all the mass??
There were many other similar issues such as Megatron transforming into a pistol and lost all his mass in the process. Maybe the most interesting one, however, was Optimus Prime. In robot mode he was just a big robot. But when he transformed into a semi truck cab, other components materialised out of nowhere to form the trailer. And when he transformed back into robot mode, they just disappeared. Very strange.
Other interesting things in the original Transformers cartoon:
- Continuity was not only not even an afterthought, it wasn't even a thing. Robots that should not be able to fly because they are vehicles, are able to fly when the writers were too lazy to do otherwise.
- In the pilot episode, after crash landing on Earth, the Decepticons are shown to have revived first. Why didn't they take the opportunity to dis-assemble all the Autobots?
- No one died. Ever. Despite being hit by multiple laser blasts. Unless they sacrificed themselves. And then they were rebuilt.
- The exception to this was the original Transformers: The Movie, which was really quite grisly. Ultra Magnus was drawn and quartered. Drawn and Quartered.
- And then rebuilt.
- The exception to this was the original Transformers: The Movie, which was really quite grisly. Ultra Magnus was drawn and quartered. Drawn and Quartered.
And the list goes on, such as no bad language. These are two species of robots that despise each other and have spent millenia at war to destroy each other, yet they never seem to curse.
In contrast, this is a conversation I would love to have seen take place:
- Megraton: I'm going to fuck you up, Optimus Prime!
- Optimus Prime: Kiss my metallic ass, Megatron.
So, the show is awful. The writing sucks. The editing is worse.
And I'm going to watch it through to the end and rejoice with my inner child.
(c) All images and photographs, unless otherwise specified, are created and owned by me.
(c) Victor Wiebe
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Amateur photographer. Wannabe author. Game designer. Nerd.
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