Yesterday evening, after I came back home from the cinema, my aunt invited me to go to the beach this Saturday, which is today. At first, I didn't like to go, or I was undecided because, when I watched a movie in the cinema yesterday, I realized that going out was just a useless thing to do to divert my attention from thinking because my mistake that 'night' still haunts me and I couldn't help but still cry when I was alone.
But then I remembered that I needed money. Though I was brokenhearted, of course, I still need to do something to earn. So, even if I am not completely healed, I decided to go and told my aunt that I could go with her. She told me that I needed to wake up by 2 a.m. Today, so last night, I slept early with sad thoughts.
I set the alarm on my phone and was glad that I was able to wake up. I pushed myself to get up from bed, though my body felt so heavy because of my dream. I was still stuck on the moment that I was with the person I love, thinking that we were happy there (which is why I hope that I will never wake up in the morning because I know that reality will hit me).
I go to the bathroom to take a bath. I can't even remember how I took a bath and was able to finish bathing because I'm thinking about it again and letting my tears flow together with the water.
Since it's a beach, of course, I need to dress in something that can be a good pair for the place I go. It's good that I still have these from the past when I was still skinny, and I give them to my younger cousin (my aunt's first daughter) because I can't wear them anymore. Actually, my top was a dress back then because it's supposed to be a dress for a teenager, but I can make it my top because it's garterized on the back. It's also great timing because I have the crochet earrings that Romeskie gave me during the Hiveph meet-up as a souvenir, and so I was able to wear them.
I just wait for my aunt to finish preparing after I have prepared. Her husband drove us to their meeting place after. Oh, I forgot to tell you that this beach outing was my aunt's and her co-teacher's outing day. My aunt told me that it's okay for me to go because her co-teachers will also bring some of their kids as chaperones. Well, my Aunt daughters are spoiled and cannot be trusted with this kind of thing because you can never invite them to go out. So, my aunt chose to invite me rather than them.
When we arrived, it was already 3:31 a.m. in the morning, and a lot of her co-teachers are there already. We are waiting for our transportation to arrive.
And while waiting, I couldn't help but look at my messenger because I was communicating with Demotry at that time. Lol
While waiting, I couldn't help but feel a familiar feeling. I mean, when I was traveling to Manila. I was looking at the bus going to Pasay and Cubao and other cars passing by in front of me.
You know what? I learned that when you are brokenhearted, the things—everything that you can see that became part of the memories with someone you love—can remind you of them. It should have been just a normal thing in the past. But when you have a special memory with someone with things around you and them, it will not be the same again. Just like these lights. It's actually red and blue, but the color that I captured was only red. And dim surroundings, which became a part of the past that I could never forget. So the whole trip, I was quiet and felt hurt.
Anyway, I took a little nap, and when I woke up, I could see that the sun was starting to rise and we were near the place already.
I feel a little excitement because it's been a long time since my last trip to the beach.
For this Saturday weekend, I visited Tobuan Beach in Labrador, Pangasinan (with my Aunt and her Co-Teachers).
At first, I thought the location that we would go to was in Sual, Pangasinan. But then, I searched it on the map to see if Tobuan or Tubuan is a part of the sual, but nah, it's on the Labrador, Pangasinan. But Sual is just nearby.
The first thing that I noticed when we arrived were these trees. It's been a long time for me to see this again, and it's a sign that finally! We are on the beach. We arrived at the beach around 5:18 in the morning, and it's just nice timing because the sun is ready to rise! I think our driver understood the assignment. Haha and that is to arrive early so we can watch the sun rise.
Sorry for spamming you with some pictures of the sunrise. I can't choose which pictures I should upload! Hehe
Here is Mr.Sun! Waving at me. I really love watching the sunrise. I remembered something. I read before that when you write your message to someone on the seashore because you don't have the courage to say it to them, you will be fine. And guess what? Since I'm a fool because of love, I did it. But I am not fine. I still think about that person.
Anyway, my aunt gave me a coffee. She told me that the coffee is sweet because of its macchiato flavor, but when I take a sip, I can't taste the sweetness. Just bitterness.
I spend my time watching the sunrise and the kids who're taking a bath while I'm at the seashore, drinking my coffee. I think it also made me relax a little bit and forget the thoughts for a short span of time. But there's a moment that I want to cry, but I stop myself because there are a lot of people around. Hahaha
When I'm done momenting, my aunt tells me to take a picture of them. I became their photographer. I took a lot of pictures, and I can say that they are enjoying themselves.
Actually, my thoughts before I decided to go on this trip were that I don't really like to spend time with adult people. Because they are boring. They are strict. But then, when I was at the seashore with them, they were talking with me as if they were still teenagers. They also keep telling jokes about each other, which made me laugh.
At first, I felt shy toward them because they were all teachers. But later on, since they kept talking with me, I started to enjoy being with them, and I also enjoyed their humor. Then, I didn't realize that I was showing my humorous side too, and my aunt didn't expect that I could go with the flow now. Which made the other teacher like me. Their age range is 30–50. But there's one 27-year-old, which made me happy because I'm not the only one who's in her 20s.
Since the sun is starting to hurt my skin, I decided to go to the nipa hut nearby the seashore,
and I received a chat message from Jude. He's inviting me to play Mobile Legends. Since my internet is not that stable, I can't guarantee that we will win.
After I played ML with Jude, I went back to our cottage. My aunt and her co-teachers decided to ride a boat and go to the other island. They are inviting me, but I have Thalassopobia. I can just see the sea far away, but I can't stand seeing the sea when it's so close to me. I was scared that I saw a shark or other big creatures.
So, since they're gone, I decided to sing karaoke. I am not that good at singing. Haha, and I feel sorry for the nearby cottage who heard me sing charought!
I sang Stay by Cueshé. You know what? I am not a fan of Filipino singers, and I am into K-pop, but since music is the voice of the soul, here I am singing some songs that can make me let out the thoughts or the words that I wanted to tell him.
Later on, Uncle Janitor came by inside and accompanied me. I bought snacks in the store nearby because I was feeling hungry. The room was so awkward, but then Uncle Janitor started the conversation, asking me some simple questions until I asked him about his job, and we also talked about his life during his 20s. And I learned some things about being an adult from him. He failed a lot of times in life, yet he didn't give up. He started working when he was 10. Even for a simple job, he will accept it. He even told me that I shouldn't waste my 20s and start to do something to improve my life and not be someone like him. I was scared of older men, but he seems to be kind. Of course, I don't trust him that much, so I stop myself from talking with him.
My aunt and her co-workers arrived at lunchtime. We started to eat our lunch food after their arrival. Then they took a bath and changed, and here they are, enjoying themselves and singing. You know, amongst the teachers that I met, Ma'am Michelle, the 27-year-old woman, is the most hyper and mood-setting. I can see her personality reminding me of C.
I'm enjoying the view and happenings because their energy is not based on their age because they bond like teens. They sing and dance. They are not boring to be with, and they don't make me feel left out. What shocked me the most is that during the "Dancing Queen" by ABBA song, Ma'am Michelle told us to play Passed the Mic. I'm just peacefully sitting beside them, watching them enjoy themselves and sing. While the first two teachers sing the first and second verses of the song. When it's on the chorus part, I was shocked when they gave me the mic. I don't know what to do, but I don't like to kill the mood, so I sang it, though my voice and tone are not that good because of the high note. I know the song, but I am not confident enough to sing it. My introverted side could not! Gosh! But I was thankful because they still support me and join me in singing the lyrics while they dance in front.
And after that happened, I questioned my life. "Where was I?" "Who am I?" "What am I?". I just hope that the other neighbor's cottage pretends that they didn't hear anything. Oh well, I should think positive, and the outcome is still good because they are still enjoying themselves.
I feel like I also like to drink. Get drunk a little bit. Because, though I was happy outside, my heart feels like shit. So I excused myself after I mixed the shembot that they requested because they wanted to have fun.
Since I am surrounded by teachers, I can't drink alcoholic beverages when I am with them. I am shy, though they are also drinking shembot mixed by me. Lol and I don't want to look like a bad niece of my aunt in front of them, so after I bought a beer, I told the store clerk to put the beer on the soft drink's bag and I went to the place where they couldn't see me.
Good thing that a mouth spray and a perfume are still in my belt bag. So that they couldn't smell me.
I feel a little dizzyness. But I still manage to continue getting along with them. Around 2:00 p.m. when they decided to go to Lingayen, Pangasinan. I thought they would visit another beach, but nah, they just visited a school festival.
I didn't travel with them anymore and just stayed where our transportation was parked. I just watched the students practicing a traditional dance and looked at the plants that were in front of me.
Before we traveled home, they decided to eat halo-halo first because of the hot weather. And while we were waiting for our food, we watched these tilrotor planes. After we ate our halo-halo, we traveled home.
When I arrived at my aunt's house, I packed all my things and decided to go home to my hometown, which is in Sison, Pangasinan. Traveling to go home makes me feel heavy, and I can't forget the happenings on Planeta Vergara that happened on April 27. It feels like it still happened yesterday, and I can't move on easily.
Anyway, that is all the important happenings for me this weekend, as for today, Sunday. I don't have anything to do but take a rest on my bed.
