Having values that do not Deteriorate
In the previous article, I discussed the value of being open-minded about ideas and philosophies and sharing your own ideas and philosophies.
The importance of sharing and understanding ideas. It will enrich our lives and make it that much more likely for us to live a long and successful life with other human beings on this planet.
Especially when they are not exactly like us.
So this then begs the question from the more unyielding people. People who have very little diplomacy in their blood do not tend to understand others and are not open to learning from them.
What these people have, however, is a strong belief in everything that has to do about themselves and their cause. They have a high self-esteem and do not even consider the possibility of error.
What these people would ask of the previous article is something along the following lines: By listening and trying to understand others, am I not weakening my own values and disrespecting myself in the process?
The short answer to that is: No.
The long answer to that question is a whole book with a collection of case studies and examples. Nobody has time for that though so here I am, writing a condensed blog version of such a collection of thoughts
1. Core Values
Everyone has a set of core values that is a large part of what defines us as human beings. These are the values we usually pick up at the start of our lives but through dedication, an adult can also shape and alter their core mentality.
You have heard of the saying: Bend the bough while it is still young?
Well, that refers to this type of situation. Your core values are very difficult to simply alter. If you have mixed this with the thoughts that came up in your young adult years, then you have a set of rules that defines you.
This personal set of beliefs is the vantage point from where we can interact with others, knowing full well who we are and how we fit into the world.
It is extremely important for you to know what your core values are. Perhaps you have not thought of them in a while? Then take a moment to sit back and give it some thought!
2. Listening to others does not hurt you
To listen to others express their thoughts and feelings do not somehow make your own thoughts invalid. Yet there are plenty of people who act exactly like that is the case.
In regards to the strong-willed and opinionated people, they quickly resort to fighting because of it. They argue, debate and refute the other person's statements in order to protect their own beliefs.
The thing is that the harder they fight about what someone else is saying, the more evidence there is to show that you actually have a low self-esteem. Just a few words can upset you and unsettle your calm.
Instead of letting what other people say become a personal attack, seek to understand why they say things as though you are not in the same room.
3. Truly understanding others does not eliminate your beliefs.
Because when you really do manage to understand the other person, then it will be like the previous article. The benefits are numerous.
Your core values do not change because of this, however, unless you let it.
Let us use a silly explanation:
One of your core values is to respect other's belongings and because of this you would not touch or steal someone's property. Then you speak to someone about crime and they tell you about how they used to need to steal in order to survive.
You could probably understand why they had to do it, but it would not turn you into a criminal. The same way, people are getting offended at the thoughts of others. The same way, there are people who fear outside thought.
Conclusion
There is nothing and is nobody that is going to force you to change your core values if you do not want to change them.
Merely hearing or understanding someone's thoughts and beliefs do not invalidate yourself in any way.
It is extremely important that we have a good and powerful set of Core Beliefs upon which we build our Identity and Self-Esteem.
I see that I am going to need to revisit this topic again in the future.
Until then, relax and listen. Do not fear thoughts!
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