STEEMFest 4

"Welcome Steemians!

This is your host, @SpreadForWhales ... your favorite Top 20 Witness ... and we are gathered here in Lawlessness Park, in the wonderful city of Steemtopia, for a live video-cast of the The Whales vs. The Minnows Chess Takedown. Playing for the Whales is the Master of Disaster, the Curator of Chaos, the Ransacker of Regulation himself ... @Anarchooooooooooo-Zealot!!! Playing for the Minnows is @QuillFire, who, if you can imagine ... only has a $0.01 upvote!

Folks, there's Big Money on the line. If Anarcho-Zealot wins, he'll add 100,000 STEEM to his already huge bankroll and, if QuillFire wins, he'll add 1 STEEM to his. As you can see, the Players have made their opening moves and the game is underway. Of course, given the players respective wallet sizes, we all know how this will end ... but let's pretend we don't. Hmmm. QuillFire seems to be making a fuss about something. Let's listen in."

"Sorry, mate, you can't do that. Rooks can only move horizontally and vertically, not diagonally."

"My Rook can move any way it wants."

"No it can't. Are you not familiar with the Rules of Chess?"

Anarcho smiled slyly ... much like a weasel, but worse: "Dude ... it's 'No Rulers, No Rules.' I can move any way I like. It's called Freedom."

Quill's eyes narrowed. "If we're going to play together, we'll both have to play by the same Rules. Otherwise, either of us could just cheat and that would defeat the whole point of the game."

"Cheat!? Dude, if there are No Rules to break ... then I'm not breaking any Rules, am I?"

"All games require Rules. Indeed, it is specifically those Rules that differentiate a game from all others. Come on, mate ... just play fair and we'll have some fun."

"Ah," exclaimed Anarcho in exasperation, melodramatically raising his hands into the air as if in supplication to the Heavens (while glancing at the crowd and the cameras to ensure he had an audience). "Do you see what we Whales have to put up with? Demands for Rules and Fairness! Do you know who else wants Rules? Commies! Commies and Fascist Dictators. Nazi scum. Control freaks. And Fairness ... Fairness is subjective. Just like Quality."

Some of the other Whales in the crowd, and many of the Top 20 Witnesses (who were dependent upon Anarcho's stake-weighted Witness Vote), cheered Anarcho's rejoinder dressed as lament. It was so ... anarcho-clever. A word-salad of nothingness, that sounded like somethingness, unless you thought about it ... for 5 seconds. Quill glanced around. Most of the assembled crowd, comprised mostly of Plankton, Minnows and Dolphins, were not cheering but instead sat steely-eyed. But, as usual ... they remained silent, as is expected and required of the Silent Majority.

"So ... this is the way it's going to be," Quill quietly queried, "No Rulers, No Rules?"

"This is the way it IS," Anarcho sneered in retort. "My opinions are worth a lot more than yours because they're stake-weighted. So, whatever I say ... goes. And I say my Rooks, but not yours, can move diagonally. And, if you don't like it ... you can kiss my ass."

Quill sat silently for a moment, contemplating what he'd just heard. After a few moments, his eyebrows arched slightly and he began subtly nodding his head. "OK, then." With that, he rose and walked around the park table upon which they had been playing. Upon arriving behind the seated Anarcho, he reached out, took hold of a handful of Anarcho's hair ... and smashed his face against the marble table-top. Hard.

A collective gasp emanated from the onlooking crowd as Anarcho leapt to his feet, hand clutching his broken and bleeding nose. "Are you FUCKING crazy?" he wailed.

"No Rulers, No Rules ... remember?"

With that Quill punched Anarcho straight in the mouth. Anarcho careened backwards, arms windmilling as he flailed. Quill advanced towards him. "You see, Annie, I'm an ex-military hand-to-hand combat instructor and I'm going to use my 'steak-weighting,' and Freedom to do as I please, not to kiss your ass ... but to kick the shit out of it."

"You can't do that," wailed Anarcho," that's against the Law!"

"The Law? The Law is but a set of Rules, enforced by Rule Enforcers. But you said, 'No Rulers, No Rules.' It's every man for himself and the ends justify the means. And, since I want to win ..." With that, Quill threw a couple of right jabs and followed up with a left upper cut into Anarcho's exposed rolls of stomach fat, a condition no doubt the consequence of Anarcho's favorite snack food: Cheatos. Anarcho crumpled to the ground, gasping for air.

Quill began slowly circling the blubberous writer of Python. As he did, he glanced into the crowd who were now all on their feet. "What's wrong Whales? This is your 'No-Rules mantra' in action, except this time it's one of your own on the receiving end of your dictums. The constraints on social behavior, derived from thousands of years of civilization, reduced to the Law of the Jungle. Everyone gets to do whatever they want and damn the consequences. Anarchy ... 'Satoshi's Dream.'"

Quill peered down at the gasping and blubbering Anarcho. "Did you catch my pun about 'steak-weighting?' You know, 'steak' ... as in meat and muscle, instead of 'stake' ... as in number of votes? Annie, did you think that was funny?" An inarticulate mumbling emanated from the remnants of Anarcho's bloodied and battered face.

"I hope that wasn't a, 'No,' Annie. No matter, you're entitled to your opinion and I to mine. But, since I thought it was hilarious, and only my opinion counts since I'm the Big Man, it was. So ... I'll need some upvotes as reward for my brilliance. Give me your wallet."

Perhaps not surprisingly, Annie's wallet seemed to mean more to him than did his remaining teeth as he clutched his right hand over his back right pocket. Quill raised an eyebrow and moved forward, placing the heel of his shoe on the outstretched fingers of Anarcho's left hand which had been propping up his upper body. And then, in one fluid motion, Quill shifted all his weight onto that heel. Ah, the things you learn in the army. Good times. There was a crunch as bones instantly shattered. Anarcho unleashed a scream of agony that would have impressed Satan at his most vindictive.

"Give me your wallet."

With a trembling hand, Anarcho hurriedly dug out his wallet and passed it to Quill. Peering inside, "Annie, you carry a lot of cash! Let's see: One ... two ... three ... four hundred and twenty ... forty ... sixty ... eighty-three dollars. $483 for a barely comprehensible pun that took approximately one second to 'create.' That sounds like par for the course for your posts, doesn't it? Oh, and give me that fancy-looking watch of yours too." Anarcho desperately did as instructed.

"Thank you for your generous support. Now Annie, I have an important question for you ... so listen carefully and think before you answer: How are Rooks allowed to move?"

"Horibonilly and verbicilly," Anarcho blubbered through his swollen lips and broken teeth.

"And Annie ... are they allowed to move diagonally?

Anarcho vehemently shook his head in the negative, "Nobe."

"And what about common-sense Rules of Conduct to prevent cheating and extremely anti-social behaviors ... are they only for Commies and Fascist Dictators?"

"Nobe."

"It doesn't feel very good when people treat you like shit and take away things they haven't earned, does it Annie?"

"Nobe."

"So, we should all try to refrain from being assholes, shouldn't we?"

"Yeth."

"Well, I'm glad we've come to an agreement respecting the Rules of Chess ... and conducting yourself in a civilized manner." And with that, Quill gingerly helped the beaten-to-within-an-inch-of-his-life Anarcho-Zealot to his feet and gently sat him back down at the park table. Crossing around to the other side of the table, Quill, too, took his seat. Then he reached over to the refreshments side-table and poured them both a cup of tea.

"Now, as I recall ... it's still your move."

Quill

*****

A Series of Articles About Steemit Cheating, Bad Behavior & The Need For Reforms (Proposals Included). If you can read only one, read number 4.

All images herein are QuillFire modifications of images in the public domain.

You guys know the QuillDrill. Be verbose ... but articulate.

And remember ...

Go Love a Starving Poet

For God's sake ... they're starving!

STEEMFest 4 ... "The Whales vs. The Minnows Chess Takedown" (100,000 - or 1 - STEEM Prize)

STEEMFest 4

You guys know the QuillDrill. Be verbose ... but articulate.