"What would you do if you woke up in your country's president's body?"
A big thank you to 
As soon as I opened my eyes, I realized that something isn’t right. I don’t recognize my bedroom. The walls are different; it is much bigger and everything looks fancy like in a palace or mansion. Am I still dreaming? Where am I? I pinch myself to make sure that I’m awake, and outch! Yes, I’m definitely awake! I get up, and slowly walk around. I pass in front of a mirror, and then terror strikes me. Who is that person staring back at me? That isn’t me, I’m in someone else’s body, someone who looks strangely familiar. I need a moment to digest what’s happening, but I’m suddenly interrupted by someone knocking on the door: “ Mr President, your limousine is waiting!”
Mr. President? Who? Me? Millions of questions ran through my mind. I wanted to scream but was conscious of the people around me. I stripped off slowly to check if my private parts were still there. To my amazement, I was completely a man. I quickly put on my bathrobe and sat to strategize on this new discovery. The voice came in from outside again, “We are ready Mr. President.”
I quickly had my bath. Not to forget, I almost slipped before I could walk properly like a man. Don’t judge me, I am a lady. Ladies are used to walking with elegance, how in heaven’s name do you expect me to just walk carefree like a man all of a sudden? Anyway, back to the story of my life. I got delayed in the dressing room; I was confused with the type of clothing in his wardrobe. I am so use to a dress/trouser/skirt with a top/shirt or polo. He had only traditional attires and caps. “What kind of traditional President is this?” I thought to myself as I ransacked the entire wardrobe.
I finally decided on a cloth, put it on and headed out of my room. Right before opening the door, I knelt down and prayed. I slapped myself for the last time, maybe I would wake up and discover it was all a dream but it wasn’t. I opened the door. Three men-in-suit were waiting for me at the door, they saluted me and led the way. A lady came out from the other room, I could recognize her from the news.
“Here is your speech for the event Sir.” She said as she went back. I could feel my shoulders raise up, the feeling of being respected by everybody gave me chills. I entered the bulletproof limousine with four security personnels around me. I looked around the car and felt amazed. How I wish it was my real body, I would have opened the rooftop and screamed on the top of my lungs.
Anyway, it struck me at a particular time in the journey; “where are we going and what is the speech for?” I thought to myself. I read through the speech and was still confused. I signalled to my aide to move closer and he did.
“Where are we going to?” I asked with a low
tone. He looked at me and bowed. “Sir, you have an important meeting with the Bankers Association of Nigeria, it is a closed meeting Mr. President.” He replied.
I love the banking sector just because of the cute guys-in-suit. I went into dreamland to wonder the kind of men I would be having the meeting with. Finally, we got to the Central Bank of Nigeria. I watched with amazement as armed men stood at ease and saluted me. How I wish I can snap and put all these on instagram and snapchat. That was when I remembered my phone. I asked the aide for my phone and he brought out a small brandless phone. I wanted to scream in disgust, why can't he use an iPhone or Samsung? A whole President of my country! With all the money and power, I felt like slapping and punching his face. I collected the phone and the aide sensed the disgust in my face.
“Are you okay, Mr. President?” He asked. I looked at myself and felt like transferring the whole aggression to him. Anyway, this is just a phase. I shook my head to signify I am okay. We alighted from the car and made way to the CBN (Central Bank of Nigeria) main hall. As I entered the hall, I almost fell.
Have you ever imagined a child being locked up in an ice cream factory? I know you understand the feeling, that was how I felt when I entered. I saw lots of cute, well-dressed, well-groomed men-in-suit and I tripped. I forgot I was in a man’s body and was cat walking till I slipped. My aides rushed to carry me up, if only they knew why I tripped.
I sat down with the leaders at the high table. I got lost staring at the handsome men staring at me, eventually slept off for a minute. A voice came to me, “be the better President Nigeria never had.” I woke up and a part of me got awakened. I gave my speech among other things till the meeting ended.
I was in the limousine on the way to the state house when I remembered what my father used to tell me: “Without corruption, a country can be fixed in a day.” If I am truly a President today, I will definitely be a better President. I told my aide to call for an emergency meeting with the Northern Governors. I have heard enough of killings in the Northern states and need to talk with them.
Me a President? As in President Mohammed Buhari. This could be a blessing in disguise after all....
The aide was super useful to me. He took me around the State house without asking questions. I was first afraid to but I am the President and he has to do what I request of him. After the tour, I was taken to my office. I stared at the chair continuously before I sat. I rolled around the chair even with my fragile body then I discovered the CCTV at the four corners of my office.
“I have had enough fun for myself, it's now the time to do my best for my beloved country.” I thought to myself. I remembered my father again, he is the best economist I have ever known. I put up a call to him. To be honest, i was scared because I don't want him to know what was happening. As soon as I heard his voice, I calmed down (blood is thicker than water). I introduced myself as the President of the country and lied he was nominated by people to be a part of my think-tank to help the country. He talked and advised me over and over, I felt like giving him a tight hug after.
I wrote down the points and put up a call to the Vice President’s office. Where I come from, it is tradition for a younger female to kneel down to greet an older person. As soon as the VP entered my office, I subconsciously knelt to greet him. He was so surprised and confused. I had to quickly kneel towards him and asked him to draw me up.
“Are you okay Mr. President?” He asked me. I just laughed to cover up that slip. I discussed the few points I have jotted down and told him about the emergency meeting with the Northern Governors. He left with a smile on his face.
Three hours later, we were in a closed meeting with the Governors sweating it out. It was a successful meeting. I felt so happy I could achieve that feat in such a time. The next meeting was with the new economic advisers I had selected around. It was a brain storming event and many points were highlighted to lead this nation to greater heights.
I had a little break in between meetings to eat and freshen up. I switched on the television to watch the national news. A part of the news struck me; “The president was full of energy and vigor as he attended a meeting with the new economic advisers he selected today… “
That is the kind of news I have always wanted to hear. There was a knock followed by a voice, “Mr. President, the ministers are ready for you Sir.”
I had a long meeting with all the ministers in my cabinet. This meetung was a showdown, it was full of confrontations and rage, but at the end of the day we all reached a consensus and i left smiling. If the ministers don't perform effectively in 6 months, they will be replaced. To make their work more effective, I created a portfolio of Professors in each field to assist each ministers.
Electricity has been a major issue in the country. I had a special meeting with the minister of power. There was in attendance 5 different professors from different universities. It was a great brainstorming meeting. They all agreed to work with the government and the Minister of Power to bring changes to our country.
The same was applicable to the transport sector. It was a longer meeting and the professors in the field also agreed to work with the Minister of transportation. Everyone was impressed with the new energy displayed by their President, I could feel it with the way they looked at me.
Around 9pm, it was the final meeting with the Minister of Finance and the appointed professors. To be candid, I hardly talked in all the meetings. The brainstorming was between the minister and the professors. There were times, I slept off and had to wake up during arguments. Finally, the meeting was over. Many decisions were made. I shook their hands and assured them that my administration will definitely support them.
I got to Aso rock very late which is presidential home. I was tired and worn out from all the meetings and discussions. Now I know why Presidents look older when in power. I checked my phone, there were thousands of messages and missed calls. I was too tired to go through. I took my bath and laid on my bed about to sleep when it dawned on me to do something important. I brought out a journal and wrote every single thing I did on it.
I checked the time, it was 3 in the morning. I felt fulfilled with all the meetings I had and I believed in my gut, it would work for my great country. I slept off with a grin on my face. A crazy cock kept crowing, I woke up. Nothing is as good as being the president of my country. A knock came on my door followed by a voice, “Ife, you better wake up and come to the kitchen right now to wash the plates you lazy girl.” My mum screamed.
I ran off my bed to the mirror. I was back to my body. I got confused, it must have really been a dream. As I wash the plates thinking about my dream then the news came on.
“The President of this country had lots of meetings yesterday with his Ministers and the newly appointed Professors to help with the major sectors in the country. It took the citizens of this country by surprise how energetic he was yesterday. In other news, the Vice President has applauded the President for his unrelentless effort to better the country which was displayed yesterday. This will be great for the country…. “ I stood at the kitchen door and discovered, it was not a dream. I fainted.
Anyway, it's been 5 years that I found myself in my President’s body. No one knew about this till now and for the President, he is on his second term with lots of accomplishments. Its been two years since we had a blackout, Nigeria now has 11 international airports, good roads and the rail sector has been revived. Nigeria is now the giant of Africa and we all are proud of our country.
