He he, this is the moment when I start to (kind of) "root for" one, the Right Honourable Sir Keir Rodney Starmer, Prime Minister (of the U.K.), and offer him some rich Machiavellian advice.
Actually, it seems that I needn't bother because my man, the Right Hon. Sir K. R. S. (Prime Minister), is forging ahead in exactly the way that I would recommend.
Check out this headline on the BBC website:
Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cze2j7875pdo
YES! That is EXACTLY what I would advise him to do!
"Everybody" thinks Sir K. R. S. (Prime Minister) is toast, that Andrew Murray Burnham wins the Makerfield bi-election and then, as an M. P. gathers enough Labour M. P.'s votes to challenge the Right Hon. Sir K. R. Starmer (Prime Minister) to a leadership election which, "everybody" thinks Andrew Murray Burnham will win and so replace Sir K. R. Starmer (P. M.) as Labour leader and Prime Minister of the U. K.
All of that assumes that Sir K. R. Starmer (P. M.) has no influence on what happens, but I would contend that he has an immense amount of potential to throw a spanner into the machinery of Andrew Murray Burnham's vain Mancunian madness.
Vanity Politics versus Machiavellian Virtù
In the 2024 General Election, Labour candidate Joshua Cameron Simons won the Makerfield seat with 42.5% of the vote. Reform came second with 31.8% (an increase in their vote share of +18.7%).
Vanity Politics
Joshua Cameron Simons was given a mandate to serve the people of Makerfield, a suburb of Manchester, for the duration of the parliament, a mandate which he has contemptuously thrown over by resigning his seat so that the Mayor of Manchester, Andrew Murray Burnham, can enter parliament and challenge Sir K. R. Starmer (Prime Minister) in a Labour Party leadership campaign. (Simon's motive is presumably to get some kind of payback from Burnham if Burnham wins the bi-election and then goes on to become the next Prime Minister.)
That is to treat the electorate with contempt, to assume that they will bend like grass in the breeze to the vain ambition of the Mayor of Manchester, Andrew Murray Burnham.
This fellow, Andrew Murray Burnham, is (or was - and I bet still is in private) in favour of (yawn) rejoining that model of economic dynamism, the E. U. (which genuine socialists such as the former Viscount Stansgate, Anthony Neil Wedgwood Benn, rejected back in the day), while the electorate of Makerfield voted in favour of Brexit in 2016, and voted Reform in the recent local elections.
So the electorate of Makerfield may not take kindly to being used to further the ambitions of this vain Burnham fellow, and might well vote Reform instead, destroying Burnham's ambitions, at least in the short term.
And I must admit I would laugh my arse off if that were to happen.
However, Andrew Murray Burnham has been a popular mayor and could swing enough of the locals behind him and win the seat, especially if (1) the Reform candidate's reputation can be trashed, (2) Reform leader Nigel Farage's dodgy finances can be exploited (Labour needs to demonstrate that Farage is a grifter who's in politics for the money - duh!), (3) Rupert Lowe's Restore party can attract Reform voters on the right...
Machiavellian Virtù
Given all that, what should the Right Honourable Sir Keir Rodney Starmer (Prime Minister) do?
Exactly what he has been doing!
1. Dig your heels in. Do not under any circumstances resign after the huge losses your party suffered in the local elections in England, Scotland and Wales. Talk about how "the voters have sent a message about the pace of change" etc.
2. Have a bit of a laugh at Prime Minister's Questions - relax! Nobody expects you to be around much longer, so the pressure is off. Meanwhile... keep digging in!
3. This is the KILLER move! Talk about how essential it is for the "whole labour movement" that (arch enemy) Andrew Murray Burnham wins the bi-election in Makerfield!
Good! That is what my man, the Right Honourable Sir Keir Rodney Starmer (Prime Minister) has been up to so far... exactly as I would have advised.
Now let's take it a few Machiavellian steps further to ensure that Manky Andy is hoisted by his own petard...
4. Talk up Manky Andy as much as possible. Go to Makerfield to "campaign" for Manky Andy. Pin him to your mast. Show the electorate (who are pissed off with YOU) that you and Manky Andy are one and the same, practically blood brothers. Visit the constituency as often as possible just to hammer home the message in your usual robotic manner.
5. Talk up the E. U. Talk a lot about how beneficial it would be to get as close as possible to the E. U., just as Manky Andy "used to" believe.
6. Be sure to "accidentally" offer a casual insult to anybody who voted for Brexit. Arrange a walkabout with Manky Andy, and talk to a Brexit supporting Makerfield resident about the E. U.
After the meeting, casually insult her (it should be a woman) while chatting to Manky Andy, feigning not to know that your insult is being recorded. Ideally, he will agree with your negative opinion of the woman. Let the recorded insult be leaked to the press and released on TikTok.
7. Meanwhile, if you have any dirt on Manky Andy, be sure to let it be leaked. I assume you have been gathering a dossier of dirt... Before leaking, discreetly let Reform know what's about to go public so they can start insinuating stuff about Manky Andy on TikTok.
8. It would be convenient if there were an incident involving illegal immigrants that causes an outrage in the media. Be sure to arrange it through your back channels. Keep your hands clean.
Result:
Reform squeeze ahead and take the seat by a whisker. Manky Andy's ambitions are crushed. His faction in parliament is in disarray...
And...
The Right Honourable Sir Keir Rodney Starmer (Prime Minister), the least bad of a bad Labourite bunch, retains the premiership and the bond markets (if nobody else) breathe a sigh of relief!
What do you think? Should I apply for a job as a SPAD - Special Advisor - to any aspiring candidate for Parliament? Let me know if you know of any openings.
Cheers!
DH
#InspiredFocus ?