What’s the funniest excuse you’ve ever come up with to get out of something, and did it work?
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I love driving. Like, LOVE it. Back in my prime motorcycle years—2015, 2016, 2017… yeah, even 2018—I was basically the Fast & Furious: Teacher Edition. I could hit 110 kmph like it was nothing. Long drives? My therapy. Speeding? My guilty pleasure.
At the time, I was teaching in a private school, and every single day, I made it my mission to go home for lunch. But not just go home—ZOOM home. I’d fly down the road like I was late for a drag race I didn’t sign up for.
Now, the problem with small towns is everybody knows your business—and in my case, they all knew my dad. So naturally, my personal fan club (a.k.a. nosy neighbors) would report my high-speed antics to him:
"Sir, your daughter drives like she’s trying to break the sound barrier. Can you please tell her to slow down before she takes flight?"
And my dad? Oh, he was not having it.
"Are you trying to embarrass me?! People think I let you run wild on the streets! Do you even know what ‘reckless’ means?!"
But did I have an excuse? Oh, you bet I did.
"Dad, listen... sometimes I'm just really, really hungry."
And if that didn’t work?
"Okay, fine. I was about to poop."
BOOM. Argument over. No further questions. Works EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.