My first experience of gaslighting was regarding the Warren Commission. My father had taught me to shoot, hunt, and reload. Because of him I memorized ballistics tables, so I'd know where my bullets hit. He was well informed as to how bullets worked, and what happened to them when they struck something as insubstantial as powdery snow.

Part of the Warren Commission report was affirmation that a bullet found on a gurney had fallen out of Kennedy, and was the bullet that caused his death. Discovering this, I immediately knew the report was bullshit, and said so.

My father, however, disagreed. All those men on the commission, he said, were honorable, and would not lie. Therefore the bullet, pristine, even though they claimed it had passed through two men and three bones, was the killing bullet.

I was aghast. I could not, and still do not, understand how my father could have suspended his disbelief in physics to accept such obvious lies. To this day, I cannot have a meaningful conversation with him, because he is incapable of determining facts from propaganda.

Being raised on an island in Alaska has made me incapable of failing to stick to facts when I know them, admit when I'm wrong, and to change my mind as soon as I find out I'm wrong. It's a matter of life and death when you're confronted with the merciless actions of nature, and nothing more reveals this than the rigors of the sea.

I can be fooled. It may not even be hard to do. I cannot stick to my guns when I know they're pointed the wrong way, and just don't understand how people can.

Thanks!