"There are times in our lives when the guidance of those more knowledgeable and experienced than us can be invaluable. Sooner or later, however, we will have to learn to more fully trust ourselves if we want to lead fulfilled lives. Leaning on either an individual or a group can postpone this moment, perhaps indefinitely. The truth is that we each have a path to follow that is absolutely unique. No one can guide us along its full length because no one else has walked it. It is ours.
Support groups can be helpful – sometimes even necessary - for anyone who is embarking upon a new inner journey of some kind when such a person can benefit from a preview of the terrain ahead. The support of fellow seekers can also be crucial when we feel overwhelmed, and the throes of fear and/or pain threaten to sweep us along. A group can offer us a safe container. Oftentimes, though, the journey of self-discovery leads us beyond the bounds of safety and familiarity.
If we don’t fully trust ourselves then we may begin to fantasize that we should be something other than our natural selves. This dynamic can play itself out in a support groups even if the philosophy of the group carries the best of intentions. The spirit of imitation may still whisper in our ears: “You should be more like this and less like that. This person seems to have it figured out. See? Follow his/her lead.”
Such ideas can lure people who have a different perspective - people with unusual talents and abilities, a unique vision - to try and emulate roles that don’t really fit them. They encourage vicarious living. It seems as if those abilities and that vision can only be fulfilled in certain set ways. Many artists also fall into the imitation trap, and for similar reasons.
When the spiritual journey becomes a more self-conscious affair it also becomes more open to distortions. People may start comparing their experiences to those of others in an attempt to find out where they “fit in”. They may label themselves – or accept the labels that others give them – and those self-definitions can limit their actual perceptions.
Furthermore, the pursuit of such a path leaves one’s true potentials untouched. The point of having a vision is to communicate and express what no one else has. Obviously there can be no road maps for one to follow to arrive at such a destination.
Sometimes people are motivated to join support groups for such reasons. Although there can be strong spiritual affinities between members of any given group, sometimes the appeal really lies in the illusion that such a framework will offer someone a ready-made identity. On the extreme end of this dynamic, cults settle the question of identity and personal vision once and for all by dictating it to their members directly. Then no one has to feel the pain – or freedom – that goes along with personal responsibility."
This is my work I am moving it to psych101 for better management!