The way you experience your difficult feelings is explained by the pattern of negative thinking put forward by CBT Hive account@kay-khosa. It is all about challenging those thoughts and try to make difference sense of them. Try to change the meaning and the interpretation you give to those thoughts. I know this is easier said than done. But, the secret is not to try t achieve this overnight!

I am so sorry you found the post a bit difficult and long! I swear I thought of you when I finished writing it. I even told my husband :D I promise I will be more concise next time :)

I wish you peace of mind and all the best.