A few years ago I was always on the run, always planning something, always trying to achieve something, always checking my agenda. I barely had time to cut my hair or to go shopping. I was always on the run and I used to believe that my perfect day would have at least 25 hours.
Back in time I used to think that after achieveing some goals, after becoming who I was supposed to become, I will settle down and be happy for the rest of my life. But one night, as I was drinking a glass of red wine, the tears started rolling down my face, apparently out of the blue. And in that moment of loneliness I understood. I wasn't scheduling everything to create myself a better life, but for escaping my lonely life. I was actually running from myself.
That ugly truth revealed in that quiet night of November was the best think I could ever discovered of myself. At first, I was so shocked about what I have discovered of myself and didn't know where to start from. That night was the longest and the hardest night I have ever had. That night I decided to stay all by myself, to know myself better, to know what I really need in my life, who's goals I was trying to achieve, what really makes me happy, when was the last time I laughed from the bottom of my heart. Suddenly I understood that everything I was trying to achieve wasn't my truly wish, instead was a "normality" created by an abnormal society.
I used to believe that being properly dress up, properly educated would attract people's respect. Also, I thought that I could sincerely love my life only after being promoted, after buying a nicer house and a faster car. I thought that after I'm becoming all that, I can find a man, eventually get married and have one or two kids. But in trying to fulfill society's checklist, I was running from myself. I felt the loneliest and the saddest person in the world, when all I really needed was to love and feel loved, to enjoy a Sunday morning under the sheets with the man in my life, to enjoy a nice walk in the park on a Wednesday afternoon.
Only after facing that depressing truth I could reliese myself. And first think I did was to take my phone and write down in a reminder some other plans for myself. On the top of my list I wrote with caps the following sentence: Never, but never ever work after 6 pm. The following lines where: enjoying afternoon walks in the park, go to cinema at least once a week, take those dancing classes I always dreamt of. And that reminder list was called: "Stop the clock".
In less than 3 months my life have changed for real. I started attending dancing classes, went out in the park, met my friends more often and contrary to the popular belief, I started having more success with my carrier.
So, even now, when I don't need that reminder list anymore and I don't have it in my phone, I can see its' title with the mind's eye: "Stop the clock".
So, did you ever stopped the clock?