Are you one of those (lucky) naturally patient people?
The topic of this post has everything to do with personal challenges. I'm sure there are a zillion people out there who naturally have a lot of patience (are there?). I'm not one of them - are you?
When I have something in mind, I'll be prepared to put a blast of energy and willpower and action into making it happen. As long as it doesn't take too long. I love results, and I love them fast. Either I get them fast, and I move on to a next project. Or I don't get them fast, and then I move to a next project too.
But as I'm growing (a little) older, and as I look back on a life which includes a lot of jumping from project to project, from country to country, from lifestyle to lifestyle, even perhaps from identity to identity... I realise that there comes a point where switching a lot means missing out on the opportunity of learning things in depth. Of becoming a specialist in one area, or a pro, and with that of adding unique value because of accumulated expertise.
Since you are reading this post, I am going to assume that having goals and working on them persistently is a challenge for you too. So... what can we do about it?
Flexibility vs persistence
For work I was looking into some tools for assessing job candidates. I found this new thing called gaming assessment, using more game like features to test a candidates competencies. The game element helps people to relax, to naturally put their best effort in and to have fun while doing the assessment. Trying it out myself, I wasn't really surprised to score high on the competency of flexibility:
In the area right below (tops) it says that high flexibility means being able to switch between projects fast, and being able to do so without slowing down in productivity. I think the assessment got that part right.
So what if, like me, you have a brain that is flexible? That easily jumps from one thing to another, and probably enjoys it too? Does that also mean that we are less likely to persist at things, to bring our projects to a conclusion?
Identity
Another assessment tool is TMA, which measures competencies and motives. One of the competencies they list is adaptability:
This phrase especially caught my eye:
'does not confuse adaptability with giving up his / her identity'.
I'm not exactly sure whether it is because of the way my brain is wired, or because of what I learned in my travels through India and insights from spirituality, but identity is no big deal for me. At all. I have not been consistent with it, and I don't mind also. I'd much rather have a flexible story about what it means to be me (or no story at all) so I can decide what to be like, responding to any situation as it arises.
So perhaps I wouldn't score high on adaptability (didn't take this test so don't know yet), since I like adapting but easily give up on identity in the process also.
So, being flexible - how do we persevere and attain our goals?
This is an important question to me. And again, since you are still reading this, I am guessing it's the same to you.
I love being flexible, I love being able to play with my identity. Finding 'what is at my core' inspires me to dump it as soon as possible, rather than to embrace it. For me, this way of living ads to being light, being happy, and finding fulfilment. But, how does that go together with bringing projects to conclusion and actually acquiring in depth knowledge and experience in any field?
Don't let your flexibility fool you!
Lol, don't be offended by the direct language, this is actually something I need to remind myself of too. Being flexible in itself is no reason at all not to finish and complete responsibilities. At the most, jumping from project to project makes it less visible when with one of those projects, we have not been touching base for a while. Otherwise, flexibility would just mean we complete our projects, but shift between tasks more often than others and with less loss of productivity till we do. Just because we CAN switch from country to country, from project to project, from identity to identity (which serves as a great tool in certain situations), it is never an excuse not to take responsibility and finish a task we started on.
You think your flexibility, your adaptability is standing in the way of completing things? Of becoming an expert in any area? Think again, because maybe (as is with me) your idea about yourself as being flexible is just a cover up for what is actually going on: we don't finish projects, because we feel overwhelmed by them. We don't complete our responsibilities, because they require us to expand, to grow, to move beyond what we thought we are capable of.
The only thing our flexibility does to us, is make it more easy to hide when we are giving up on a project.
Trade-offs that aren't really trade-offs
Flexibility and perseverance do really seem like a trade-off, if you narrate them that way, don't they? It's like that with many things in life. We story them as opposites, probably just because it is in a way convenient to do so.
Being flexible, having not a fixed but a fluid identity, is fine. But it shouldn't be used as an excuse to give up on projects which require us to expand and reach beyond ourselves.
For me this means looking into those situations where I jumped from project to project, from idea to idea, from identity to identity. And finding what it was in the situations I faced that made me drop the project, idea, identity. Looking into what it was that required my expansion, what I ran away from.
Awesome human beings
Flexibility, a fluid identity can go hand in hand with perseverance and completion. In a way I'd say flexibility without perseverance and perseverance without flexibility are an incomplete package - these two combined will be our best toolkit. All of us might have a different natural tendency. Some people more naturally patient, more naturally loyal and perhaps more rigid, more naturally inclined to finish what they start. For them the challenge will be more towards attaining a fluid, light identity. Either way, mastery lies in being highly flexible AND bringing our projects, our goals to completion. It requires honesty, self-reflection and willingness to learn and grow. But if we do, I believe we can rise to next levels of being awesome human beings.
