These Three Words Will Instantly Change How You Perceive Your Life

Yes it's true friend.

Three words. No bullshit.

With just three words you can completely change how you perceive your life.

Want to know why?

It's because most of what you define as your "life" isn't really your life at all.

"Umm...okay axios what does that even mean?

What I mean is...

How you define and judge the circumstances of your life, has less to do with what life actually is, and more to do with the story you create about it.

In order to interpret reality, we place meaning on it.

If there was no meaning, then life wouldn't matter. We'd likely be dead already (lol).

However, since we place meaning on our life (our work, partners, friends, likes, dislikes)...

...we also create stories.

When you sit down and chat with another human for the first time, what will they often ask you?

What's your story?

You've heard that one before, right?

Have you ever wondered why the answer to that question is always changing?

We Write Our Life's Story

Obviously life is changing, but we are also constantly redefining what life means to us on a moment to moment basis.

Then we create stories about those defining moments.

Sometimes those definitions - or that story - is uplifting, empowering, and motivating.

While other times... it can be quite the opposite.

Do you have any drama shows that you like?

Lately I've been watching the show "The Walking Dead" which is an extremely dramatic show.

In just about every episode, something crazy and intense transpires.

And that's what keeps things interesting, right?

If every episode portrayed just another normal day, I'd likely start looking for a new show.

Believe it or not, your mind is a great director, and it knows how to put on an epic show.

And when you're going through tough times, your mind has this tendency of dramatizing every bit of it.

What I mean by that is that it blows things out of proportion.

What might be (in actuality) a small issue from a third person perspective, becomes a nail-in-the-coffin-my-life-is-over sort of experience.

We begin to experience things as being much more intense than they really are.

Would you ever want this?

If you were to ask me, I'd say a big fat NO!

Identifying The Three P's

There are three ways in which we dramatize and generalize our reality.

We call these the three P's.

They are the three words that we want to linguistically deconstruct.

Once we do, our reality changes, because we begin to see it quite differently.

The First P Is "Personal"

When we make things personal, we begin to think that everything in our reality is happening as a result of who we are.

A concept is generalized to make it seem like we, our entire being, is the root cause of what's happening.

For instance, if you were to fail an exam in school, you might personalize it by saying "I'm just not smart enough."

Now are you really not smart enough?

Or could it be something else that's specifically causing you to fail?

The Second P Is "Pervasive"

In this instance, we will take a concept and apply it to everything or everyone.

Have you ever been at a holiday dinner with family members who are hyper-pessimistic about the world?

Grumpy ol' Uncle Alfred might say something like: "man oh man, is the world going to shit or what?"

Now, is the entire world really going to shit?

No, it's not. Some parts of it maybe - but not all of it.

Although this may seem simple and not a huge deal, it can quickly become a big deal when we incorporate this false concept into our story.

When your story is "my world is going to shit" it becomes a lot more difficult to be proactive.

Why try in a failing world?

The Third P Is "Permanent"

When "bad" things happen, it's pretty common to fall into the "permanent" trap.

"This will last forever"

This is a phrase that is highly inaccurate and potentially debilitating!

A good example of this is with student loans.

I have a lot of them and when I left school my mindset was simply...

"I'm going to be broke forever!"

I was overwhelmed with my debt, and at the time had no way of getting out of it, so it felt like forever.

The Three Words That Will Change Your Life

Now these three P's do not serve us as they often generalize our perception of reality in unresourceful ways.

In order to shift out of these perspectives, we need to consider utilizing different language.

These next three words, when used appropriately, will serve to break down a generalization to uncover a more specified, practical, and objective explanation of your reality.

By doing this, you'll neutralize the drama your mind may be creating.

The First Word Is "This"

It is not about you as a person, it is about some event, action, or behavior.

You are not the problem, it's much more specific than that.

When you can define exactly what that is, then you can actually take tangible action.

For instance, about two years ago I was taking improv classes.

I was really struggling with them.

At the end of my practice I would say things like "I'm just not that funny" or "I'm not an actor".

I was making my story about this experience very personal.

However, when I used the word "this" to specify what is actually happening, I learned a few things:

First I realized that the people in my class were all new to me, and thus I wasn't used to performing improv scenes with them. This definitely had an impact on my own performance.

Secondly, I realized that the teaching style was different than what I was used to. I was doing more observing and discussion, rather than my preferred preference of just doing.

Thirdly, I realized that I was still very new to improv, and that because I simply hadn't committed many hours to this art form, it made sense as to why I was finding it a bit challenging.

Initially, I was the problem.

If this were true, that would mean I would likely need to quit improv because I can't just get rid of me!

Once I specified what the problem really was (an event, person, or behavior), I was able to take tangible action to resolve the challenges I was experiencing.

The Second Word Is "Here"

The second P talked about pervasiveness, as in applying a concept to everything and everyone.

By utilizing the word "here" we are able to be specific about what things, places, or people something is actually impacting.

"Everyone is so depressed these days."

Clearly this is a generalized statement that implies a concept that is objectively false.

Instead, you can change that by applying the concept "HERE" or to a specific event or person.

"Jimmy and Susan seem so depressed" would be an example of that.

We are specifying exactly who is being affected, instead of generalizing that perspective everywhere and to everyone.

The Third Word is "Now"

The only constant in life is change.

Would you agree?

If so, then we can be sure that nothing will last forever.

Life is temporary and it is always changing.

When we say things like "I'm stuck with this forever", it creates an emotional overtone that can limit what we think we are capable of.

Instead of generalizing time and applying it to your story in a permanent manner, make it temporary.

Instead of "I'm stuck with this forever" say, "I feel stuck with this right now."

You could even say something like, "I'm going to just accept that I'm stuck with this for the next hour, then I'm going to try something different."

By redefining your concept of time, you can significantly alter how you perceive any situation in your life.

I know I do this A LOT and by shifting to a temporary, moment-to-moment perspective, I've noticed that I'm much more willing to take on obstacles and issues as soon as they come at me.

Direct A New Kind Of Show

Your mind is powerful.

Have you discovered that yet?

It's insanely powerful.

And with that power, you can use it for good...

...or for not so good.

Our mind can convince us of many things.

Some things are accurate...

...and some not so much.

While we may not always be 100% accurate with our stories, we sure can cut out the extra fat that does not serve us.

THIS, HERE, and NOW are powerful words.

When we learn to use these concepts more frequently, we can completely change what the world around us looks like.

Because why direct a crappy horror movie...

...when you could be creating a beautiful masterpiece?

Reflection Questions:

In what ways do you generalize?
Which P do you realize you utilize most often?
Which word(s) (THIS, HERE, or NOW) do you think will be most helpful to you in the future?

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