Many people zip thru life not realizing how much they dislike so many things — most of their lives are spent avoiding things they don’t like, or trying to rush through things like exercise, or annoyed by people who do things they don’t like.
We all have aversions to things, certainly more than we are willing to acknowledge. It’s not a bad thing to have aversions, but if we’re allowing the aversions to control our important life decisions, we’re locking ourselves into a limited life.
For example:
I have a friend who is afraid of flying. I took this picture On a trip to Hawaii last winter. My friend had the opportunity to stay free of charge at this hotel and I offered to buy the ticket with airline miles. However He still found a reason, with out Acknowledging the fear of flying to stay home. I wonder how many amazing life experiences people of missed out on because of their aversions?
A few other common examples could be
Avoiding losing money, means you will miss out on investments that provide above average returns.
Avoiding vegetables means it’s hard to eat a healthy balanced diet.
Avoiding exercise, makes it hard to live a healthy lifestyle.
If you get upset when people do things (smoke, swear, eat junk food), you’ll be annoyed by people often.
If you dislike bugs, inclement weather, You can miss out on being in the outdoors.
However aversions are not “bad” — I am not saying they're bad at all. Sometimes they can be quite helpful: being Afraid of losing money, for example can prevent you from making rash investments. or being averse to eating unhealthy food. However, they can hinder us in some cases and make us unhappy if our lives aren’t free of the things we’re averse to. So in that context, working to be in control of our aversions is freeing and better for our long term success.
I have lots of these aversions, And I am constantly working to harness them so they help me make more informed decisions in my daily life.
I will share a few examples
First : Becoming Aware of Aversions
If we are not aware of what we are adverse or afraid of, we have no power to change them.
Take a few minutes to make a list of the things you hate, that you avoid, that annoy you, that you can’t stand.
For example, do any of these bother you?
Foods? Or food categoires like vegtables?
Exercise or physcical activities
Types of media? Or media biases (political)
Behaviors of people close to you
Co workers or customers you see on a daily basis
Gross activities pets engage in?
Situations that commonly frustrate you
Uncomfortable social situations
There are a ton of other examples after you start to dive in, but start this list and Add to it every time you get frustrated, catch yourself avoiding something, or getting annoyed … add it to the list.
Notice your desire to avoid certain things. When you notice, try working with that feeling of aversion, using the ideas in the section below.
Working with Aversions
When you notice your aversion, just sit and face it.
When bitcoin had a crash to $400 back in 2012 I thought about making an investment. However the thought of investing 3-5,000 was frightining. What if bitcoin went to $100 or the government tried to interve. I chose to wait to purchase bitcoin based on my aversion to losing money.
I am trying to face my aversion so I can overcome and make sound investments. I have to consciously acknowledge the fear and aversion. That way the decision I make is one of Love and security.
It helps to Open yourself up to this feeling. Don’t run from them. Don’t instantly reject or find reasons they are bad. Accept that the feeling is there there, and be curious about it. Find ways to study and learn from it. Most people want to ignore or run from it, but if you’re willing to find out more you can harness this feeling to make better decisions.
Be friendly with the feeling. Relax, be open, be curious, be gentle. See that it’s not so bad. See that you can survive, even if you sit with the feeling.
See that it changes. For me, it can be strong, but then it crests and then fades. It’s momentary, temporary, just a passing feeling like any other feeling.
Its is important that you don’t have to be controlled or act on this one feeling. Actually, every feeling or thought is something that arises, not something that you have to get lost in, dwell on or be controlled by.
You have the freedom to eat vegetables you don’t like the taste of, but receive health values from. Or Invest money in a new idea. And conversing with annoying people can be quite enjoyable, and quie possibly if you stay present in the middle of the Activity, you can appreciate the beauty of it.
In the end, Finding a way to embrace these aversions instead of running is a part of the human experience! When they come from a loving part of our hearts, and we are Aware of the impacts both negative and positive we can create decisions that will impact our future selves in the way our present self wants us to be.