Hi! I'm Caroline, a psychologist from Amsterdam. This is my seventh post!
Check out my last post about ADHD here, or my introduction here.
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Bother Your Friends
Everyone has problems and worries. Everyone. Sometimes too many to handle all alone.
Since I started working as a psychologist I’ve noticed that simply saying out loud what you’re struggling with and what you think and feel about that can already make you feel better.
But many people don’t share anything about their (inner) difficulties with others, because they don’t want to ‘bother’ of ‘burden’ anyone with it. They keep it all to themselves, assuming that sharing it would make the other person feel bad, or think of them as annoying or depressing.
Many people only dare to share it with a professional, like a psychologist, when they feel they really need to talk about it. This results in the psychologist noticing loads of people with similar issues, who all think they are weird and that they're the only one dealing with something like that. If only they knew how much they are in it together!
It can be refreshing and healing to speak about it, it can make you feel relieved and less alone - and the person you’re saying it to as well! Maybe now they can finally understand you better.
A lot of people say:
“But what can they do? They can’t solve my problems.”
No, they can’t, but they don’t have to. Sharing can be enough, it can be a big help in itself. The emotional support you might get (ask for it!) can help even more. It can also help to notice that the other person doesn’t judge you for what you express. They might even understand very well because they have had a similar experience.
Good friends and even just friendly people (which there are many of in the world, fortunately) love to be there for someone else, to give support and advice, to make others feel less alone. So don't bottle it up, but speak up.
What do you think? Feel free to share you thoughts, questions and experiences on this subject in a comment.