Hi! I'm Caroline, a psychologist from Amsterdam. This is my third post!
My first post was an introduction, and my second was about mental preparation. Please follow me!
A bad (or anxious/sad/depressed) mood, like bad weather, comes and goes and can feel impossible to control. It can cause annoyance, exhaustion, loneliness and even despair. When you're feeling down, some kind of temporary memory loss can occur, where the feeling is generalized:
'I have always felt this way and I always will.'
When you’re down, it’s hard to remember that you ever felt okay, and you can be convinced that you will feel this bad forever. Feeling blue can feel so real. It’s misleading. It can have you sitting at home for days, tired, not sure what to do, not sure how or if you'll get out of this one.
I once said to a good friend: "I wish I was two people, so I could reassure each other." Maybe that's possible, even without some kind of split personality. The thing is:
The most suitable person to set you straight
and give you an optimistic reality check, is you.
This is about an aid to improve and shorten such a mood.
The trick here is to connect the up and the down version of you: When you feel good/happy/neutral/clear-minded, the kind of mood where you know you’re okay, you feel like your normal self, write a letter. The letter is to the miserable version of you. What would you say to him/her? Of all people you know that person best.
Give each letter an individual envelope, with the occasion on the cover, such as anxious and upset for no reason, really depressed or PMS. These messages can have a positive effect in three ways:
- First of all, they can contain a list of reassuring facts. You can also add images that make you feel good.
- Second of all, you can give clear advice on what to do and what not to do in that moment, like 'Take a bath,' and 'Don't make any important decisions.'
- And third: these notes are concrete evidence that you have in fact felt better in the past, and more than that: every depressed mood you have ever had has passed.
If you start writing these notes during a good mood every now and then, you'll end up with a very valuable collection of peptalks, suited to you and your specific situations. Keep them in a private drawer and see if they can challenge your unhappiness in times of darkness.
What are your thoughts? Have you ever tried this?