Ever take a look at where you're heading in life and realize you've started to take a few steps back?
Progress is not linear. It is not a gradual progression up a ladder to reach our goals and aspirations. It almost always includes setbacks and regressions that require us to regroup and look at our situation honestly.
If you're on a diet or starting a new exercise routine, you can be sure that after some time you will have a few setbacks on this new path. To believe that you're going to be able to permanently alter all of your behavior patterns in one fell swoop is naive and unrealistic. Inevitably, at some point, we fall back into certain old patterns that we were trying to adjust or avoid.
This is perfectly normal and should be embraced as much as possible. Expecting ourselves to be able to become a new human overnight is setting ourselves up for disappointment. We are creatures of habit and it is important to remember that we're not going to be able to rid ourselves of all of these behaviors in an instant.
Cut yourself some slack but work to correct it when it happens
A few months ago, I began the process of setting weekly goals for each role in my life and scheduling a relevant activity for each goal. This process, made famous in the '7 Habits of Highly Effective People' by Steven Covey, was incredibly helpful to keep me moving towards what I wanted to achieve. I would review these goals each week and analyze what worked and what didn't for the previous week.
While I found this process to be an immense help to keep me focused, I eventually slacked on maintaining this routine and admittedly haven't done this in a long while now. My whiteboard has included the same goals from a month ago, and is a reminder that I haven't kept this habit.
This process was entirely new to me, as I have never consistently set weekly goals to such a specific degree. As a result, once the newness and novel aspect of this routine wore off, I eventually fell back into my old routine of not setting milestones for myself.
Be honest with yourself but don't beat yourself up for being imperfect
In past situations where I regressed on an old habit, I would be excessively hard on myself for failing to maintain the routine and would simply label myself as a failure for not following through. A part of myself felt as though this personal-shaming was justified and was somehow what I needed.
But what happens after you label yourself a failure for having a setback? In my case, I wouldn't ever return the habit, as I had already 'failed' so what's the point? This form of self-sabotage prevents a person from ever continuing on the path they have set for themselves.
I think it's important to acknowledge that, in the course of our personal journey to make progress, we are going to have setbacks and regressions within ourselves. When this happens, beating ourselves up for not being absolutely perfect is a pointless endeavor.
Instead, we should make ourselves aware of the event, analyze without excessive judgment as to the reasons why this happened, and get back on the path we have set for ourselves. And perhaps even asking why we regressed isn't even worth the energy, as asking 'why' can be a slippery slope, one that can lead to many other questions that lead to further guilt and shame.
Regression is a part of the progression process. Be aware when you take a step back, regain your footing, and then start walking forward again. Speaking of which, I think it's time to set some weekly goals for myself....
All uncredited pictures from pixabay.com or my personal account
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