Today’s lesson: What are identity crisis all about?

Introduction

Identity crisis are highly related to young people, especially in their teens, but the reality is that every person throughout their lives can experience more than one identity crisis regardless of the age. The identity crisis appears when people reach a point where they don’t even know who they are and ask themselves again and again questions about the meaning of their existence. Some of the most common questions these people usually ask themselves when they are going through an identity crisis are ones like “who am I really?”, “what do I want to achieve?”, “what are my goals?” … Questions that require a deep understanding about themselves in order to answer them properly.

An identity "crisis" may occur at any time in your adult years when you're faced with a challenge to your sense of self. | Source

The truth is that somehow all of us at some point in our lives are forced to face these crises because at each important stage of our life we have to face different situations that can be challenging for us, either in our teen years, with all the changes that occur at the physical and mental level, or adulthood where we have new responsibilities like gaining financial independence and the duty of being a productive human being, but when we can also encounter new circumstances that are always difficult like going through a divorce or suffering the loss of loved ones, among other things.

All this can potentially cause us a certain emotional imbalance, which if well managed can help us grow even more as an individual, but if it’s mismanaged then it can result in the manifestation of a crisis.

Explaining identity crisis

It can be defined as follows:

personal psychosocial conflict especially in adolescence that involves confusion about one's social role and often a sense of loss of continuity to one's personality. | Source
Identity crisis can occur during adolescence and is characterized by the failure to develop ego identity. The ego identity normally develops before adulthood and is necessary to leave the adolescent stage and function as an adult. Without a development of identity in adolescence an identity crisis can occur with symptoms such as social withdrawal, negative behaviors (like crime or drugs), and uncertainty about identity or goals. | Source

It is also important to mention what are the most common signs of people who are going through an identity crisis. It must be taken into account that all these signs, as well as the intensity with which they manifest themselves can vary from one person to another.

Have a feeling of being lost, without any direction.
Feeling alone and empty with no justification for one’s own existence.
Difficulty making decisions because we don’t know what we really want.
Not knowing how to solve a problem since the previous methods are no longer effective for our new situation.
Emotional instability as the result of accumulated frustration.
Having the feeling of not being prepared for the changes we are about to go through.

And there are many more signs that can serve as an indication that an individual is suffering from this crisis. It is important to know that all of this doesn’t last only for a few days, not even a few weeks. When we are facing an identity crisis, we have been going through a certain period of time where one or several of the signs mentioned above have been present.

A person without a sense of identity, however, can instead feel a disconnect from who they have been, and/or no sense as to who they will become next. They don’t feel they are the same, but feel a different person sometimes from day to day. | Source

It is a long lasting process, and it can have many origins, like for example when a person has to go through different changes in his life in an unexpected way. Going through a grieving process in the face of a significant loss, be it the mother or father, a child, or any other loved one. A heartbreaking rupture in a loving relationship, being forced to move and live in another country for economic reasons, among many other sudden changes that might happen in the life of everyone.

A particular phase in our lives where this crisis can easily develop, is as mentioned before, the teen years. This phase is highly prone to identity crises because it is where the person experiences constant and important changes at the physical and psychological level. The teen finds himself in an intermediate phase between being a child or an adult, and has to develop a new identity to integrate into society while also relying on his peer group to receive social feedback.

Because of all those changes, the teen years are a very risky age, but not only because of the risk of developing an identity crisis, but also because they are more vulnerable than normal, and therefore, the chances of having all sort of mental issues increases.

Besides, when personal values are not clear and there is an unexpected situation so we need to make an important decision, we realize that we really did not know ourselves as much as we thought and we are in conflict because we do not know what it is that we have to do. Knowing ourselves also means knowing our personal values in order for us to make decisions with greater clarity and zero internal conflicts.

Your values form the foundation of your life. They dictate the choices you make and determine the direction that your life takes. Your values will influence your decisions related to your relationships, career, and other activities you engage in. | Source

Overcoming an identity crisis

When someone finds himself facing an identity crisis, we shouldn’t forget that overcoming an identity crisis is sometimes not an easy task and requires time, patience and even effort, just as it doesn’t get developed on a single day, in the same way, it doesn’t get solved instantly.

People suffering from this, should stop focusing solely on the seemingly negative side of the crisis they are going through and improve their perspective about it. They have to be aware that crises are also opportunities to evolve, develop and continue to grow as a person. Crises can help them in knowing themselves better, and in realizing that they have more capabilities than they think they have, this type of crisis can teach them new ways of acting and managing themselves in life, and overcoming one will also allow them to develop a mental strength they didn’t have before.

If you are dealing with an identity crisis, you have likely come to the realization that there are major parts of yourself that you would like to change. | Source

Another useful thing would be to work in self-discovery. With identity crisis it is essential that people start doing exercises about introspection so they really get to know themselves properly. People can make reflections about what their values are in life, their beliefs, goals, and any other personal information capable of defining them. Besides, by doing this they might be able to learn to accept themselves unconditionally, and recognize their worth and their potentials. Self love and self confidence are fundamental things in order to face any type of situation capable of making the person feel discomfort.

Although if the situation that has caused the identity crisis has also caused the individual in question to lose the direction about what he wants in life, it is time to start reevaluating and modifying the personal goals. No one should be afraid by the idea of considering new goals that had nothing to do with the old ones, in this case people should simply focus in finding those that provide more motivation and meaning to their actions, taking into account the new context in which the person finds himself.

Conclusion

Just because a person reaches adulthood, it doesn’t mean that person won’t experience any new changes in his life. We all change with time, we are constantly adding knowledge to ourselves, gaining experiences, and going through circumstances that are totally unprecedented for us. And depending on the intensity of those circumstances, the impact they can have on us is quite considerable.

The worst thing people can do is resist the new changes as that will cause anyone to become stagnant. People need to realize that being able to adapt to changes life presents us, will facilitate the developing of our emotional well being, and will make us less fragile and more able to cope with any difficulty.

Having an identity crisis is not something we could call normal, but that doesn’t mean it cannot happen to us.