I tend to be a "helpful" sort of person.
Lots of people are; lots of people in the world get a lot of personal satisfaction from "being of service" in the world. And there's definitely nothing wrong with that — if we were all willing to help each other out, the world would probably be a better place.
But some folks go a bit overboard.
Through the stone arch; near Marble, Colorado
They will be so busy bending themselves into a pretzel shape in order to be of service to others that they end up exhausted and stressed out by the whole process. What's more, their own lives (and often families) end up suffering, as a result.
In time, a certain type of resentment might even start to build, as the "helper" recognizes that they never have time to do any of the things that really matter to them, and that most of the people they are helping are seldom there to reciprocate.
WHY Are You Helping?
There comes a time when you have to pause and examine why you are putting so much time and effort into helping people. It's easy to say "Well, because they NEED my help!" but is that really true?
Pretty... but just a common weed
Or is there something "deeper" at work here?
Are you helping because you somehow believe that by helping others solve their problems, somehow your problems will solve themselves? Or is working endlessly to help others actually a way for you to not face your own issues because you are simply too busy?
Perhaps the reasons are not as important as simply understanding that you are engaged in a pattern that's not good for yourself. And then you get to contemplate — for yourself — why you are (perhaps) using your endless efforts to help others as a form of self-neglect.
There can be many reasons for this; I mentioned a couple above. But it could also be something like a fear that you won't be considered "a nice person" anymore, if you ever say "no" to anyone.
But consider this: What use are you to others if you're so stressed and exhausted that you can't actually help them? Moreover, what sort of example are you setting to those you help, if your own life is a chaotic mess that doesn't get taken care of?
Put The Oxygen on Yourself First!
Have you ever noticed — when you go on a commercial airline flight somewhere — that part of the safety instructions includes the phrase "if oxygen masks drop from the compartment above your head, please put the oxygen on YOURSELF before helping other passengers!"
If you are one of life's "helpers," this is an important lesson to carry with you in your daily existence!
Don't get so absorbed in always being of service to others that you forget to care for yourself, and to take care of your own business! Because YOU matter, too!
In fact, you matter a lot, because the world is filled with "hot messes" you help keep on an even keel! So take time to do so from a position of strength!
Thanks for reading!
Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? How about you? Do some people consider you a "chronic" helper? Do you tend to neglect things of your own in order to help others? Do you "know better," but still fail to practice self-care? Why do think that is? Conversely, do you AVOID helping because you fear "getting sucked in?" Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!
(As always, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created at 190209 23:52 PST
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