Is Self-Help and the Quest for Self-Actualization Ultimately Another Addictive Trap?

I've spent a major chunk of my adult life at least peripherally involved in the self-help, personal development, "consciousness" and enlightenment fields.

Purely based on the fact that this is a multi-billion dollar industry with thousands of workshops, practictioners and ostensible "gurus," it pretty safe to say that there are a lot of people out there seeking answers to life's question, and in generally hoping to make their lives better.

The Initial Allure

My own journey as a "seeker" began in my 20's, when it first struck me that many people just seemed to be "going through the motions" of living, supposedly pursuing their version of "success" while not seeming to be very happy — even when they were living a life of plenty.

There had to be something better!

Of course, it turned out that there was something "better," as I started consuming larger numbers of self-improvement and spiritual development books, and eventually attending workshops and retreats.

The workshops and retreats were especially appealing because I discovered that there really were other people in the world who seemed to care about not only bettering themselves, but also the greater world!

In a sense, it was a great relief. 

And I felt accomplished, even if not particularly enlightened. I came away with a really positive feeling... and I wanted to KEEP it!

And Therein Lies the "Hook"

Of course, there's nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself, learn meditation and become more mindful. However — if you're not careful — you soon get stuck in a pattern of eternal seeking, always looking for that next ideology that's just a little bit better.

Workshops and retreats are even more alluring.

You go and spend several days in close proximity with people who want a very similar "better world" to what you envision, and in this temporary world — guided by a good workshop facilitator — life really IS better. And there are no screaming bosses, and no collections calls on the phone, and no demanding family members.

In fact, when you leave the retreat, you tend to suffer from what I came to call "retreat brain," in which you suddenly are looking at the world through rose-colored glasses... glasses, I might add, through which you find it increasingly difficult to understand why everyone else doesn't want to just slow down and sit and meditate.

Of course, soon enough "reality" sets in and your sister is still a manipulator, and your boss a bully. And it seems like your newly learned "skills" don't really work on them.

So you can't wait to book your next workshop... so you can better learn how to take those amazing feelings you have at the retreats "out there" in the harsh world.

Then People Get Stuck!

There was a time when I actually would travel to ten or twelve retreats a year — as well a join local groups — until I started paying attention not only to what I was doing... but to the other people at the retreats.

I started noticing that I would meet the same people, over and over. And what they were doing was more like touring with a little "club" than actually learning effective life skills.

I also noticed how the invariable — and typically unanswered — question centered on "How do we take this out in the world where it feels like nobody cares?"

It struck me that we were all "in school" and pretty much taking the same class over and over, as a way to avoid actually dealing with life. By staying in an eternal state of "seeking" and "learning," we were actually avoiding the daily practicality of living life.

Meanwhile, these things tend to be pretty expensive!

Now, I'm by no means suggesting that going to workshops and retreats is a bad idea... but don't lose sight of why you are putting time, effort and money into these things. You're (presumably!) there to learn life skills, not to become an "eternal student."

As long as you keep that in mind... all should be well.

How about YOU? Are you into self-development and seeking enlightenment? Have you gone to seminars, workshops and retreats? How did that work out for you? Did you just go once, or were you ever a "seeker?" Have you been — or have you known anyone who was — "addicted" to this type of learning? How did it interfere with your life? How did you break out of the pattern? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!

created by @zord189

(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created at 180601 16:40 PDT