We human beings are a funny lot sometimes.
As a rule, we claim to hate liars and try to avoid people who don't tell the truth. Paradoxically, many people also don't want to hear the truth... perhaps because the truth frequently represents something we'd rather not deal with, especially if the topic at hand is "personal" or relates to a closely held belief we've grown attached to.
True blue...?
In extreme cases, when someone is telling us an actual truth we don't like, we may even go as far as to call them "liars" for what they are saying.
What IS Truth, Anyway...?
I'll be the first to admit that truth is often subjective and situational. The confusion often grows because a lot of folks consider "Facts" and "Truth" to be the same thing. They are not.
Of course, there are people in the world who believe truth is always "absolute," but I don't happen to be one of those. Instead, I lean towards agreeing with French 19th century writer Gustave Flaubert (author of "Madame Bovary," among other things) who asserted "There IS no truth, only PERCEPTION."
Much of the time what we call "truth" is more a statement about our own perceptions and opinions about something, rather than something absolute.
It Bears Saying Again...
I've touched on this before, but a lot of things are quite subjective.
Grass in the sun
Take a simple example like rain. Is rain "good" or "bad?" Well, if you're going to have an outdoor wedding reception and the rain starts pouring down, you'd probably call it "bad." And if it rains so much your house washes away, you'd probably call it REALLY bad. On the other hand, if there's a drought and everything in your garden is parched, brown and dying, then rain is probably "good."
What is the "truth" about rain, though? It's just water falling from the sky... everything else is a perception we assign to it.
Your Cage Has Been Rattled!
When people don't want to be told the truth, the problem is usually that some closely held belief of theirs is being challenged... and if they listen to-- and consider-- the "truth" they are being told, not only will they have to change some kind of fundamental belief (often about themselves), they may also have to say the words that seem the most difficult for people to say: "I was mistaken. I was wrong."
Lighthouse and summer sun
It's understandable, of course-- the "truth" often can be painful, because we've invested ourselves in something other than the truth.
If a good friend musters the courage (for example) to answer your lament "But I'm a NICE person, why do all my relationships end so quickly?" with "Well... actually, you're kind of clingy, self-absorbed and manipulative," it tends to sting.
Most of the time, we don't want to hear such truths... even if knowing such a thing will help us alter our behavior to avoid painful situations in the future.
Think of the people on shows like "American Idol" who believe they are the greatest singers ever, have had that false image reinforced by family and friends... and yet can't sing their way out of a paper bag.
Personally, I prefer to be told the truth.
It may not be what I want to hear, but it's often something I need to hear. That said, I also keep in mind that most "truth" is actually "opinion," but I still keep an open mind.
Opinions: When "Truth" Isn't Actually the Truth
Discussions about truth often bring about heated debate... usually between "absolutists" and "relativists."
Salvia in bloom
It seems to me that-- in the heat of battle-- many people don't pause and consider the fact that they are substituting in "opinion" for "truth."
A fierce discussion (and this is just a metaphorical example!) may rage over whether it's "hot" or "cold" today... complete with people getting hurt feelings and stomping off in a huff. What's forgotten is that the only truth in the discussion is "it is 75 degrees (24C) today," while declarations of "hot" or "cold" are merely personal overlays we attach... not related to the truth.
Of course, that can become really tricky when people start discussing spirituality and politics, where opinions often are cast as absolute facts!
Last but not least, sometimes we encounter "situational truth," which can be somewhat akin to navigating a minefield. What's that, you wonder?
Consider the question: "Do these jeans make my butt look fat?"
I also try to remember another old saying: "The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off!"
And that's the truth...
What do YOU think? What is your approach to the truth? When you ask someone to "tell you the truth" about something, do you actually want the truth? If someone tells you a truth you don't really like, are you open to their suggestion, or do you get defensive and try to "attack" them back? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- start the conversation!
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Published 20170623 16:38PDT