Today I'll be talking about something I think has been holding some folks backwards in life. This is called the victim mentality and I will be discussing on cause, traits and how to curb or stop this personality trait. So what is Victim mentality.
This is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face of contrary evidence of such circumstances- Wikipedia.
I will also like to define who a victim is to have a clearer picture of this trait and to distinguish it from folks who have really gone through a bad spell:
a victim is described as someone who has been harmed even though he was not responsible for the incident and could not prevent the same, and therefore, deserves empathy.
So when a victim of abuse or manipulation becomes trapped in a cycle of victimisation the above personality trait is said to occur. Not only is this mentality harmful to the individual displaying it but it also have adverse effect on the people around such individual.
Origin
From the above definition it is clear victim mentality has no biological or genetical basis which means it is learned and it can be changed or eliminated. It is actually caused by an actual event during developmental phase mostly in childhood, an unfortunate event occurs or the individual is wrongly treated by others due to no fault of the victim. This leads to the generalisation that life is unfair and folks will always treat them badly which is not the case. An example of this is an armed robber who feels he or she is into into crime because of an immoral world and believes security operatives such as the police are persecuting them unfairly.
Traits or features of Victim mentality
The following are recognizable in individuals with victim mentality:
The individual believes he/she is treated unfairly always and is wronged due to no fault of theirs though an unbiased analysis may suggest they may be partially or completely responsible for the situation.
They are pessimists: every new event is seen as a potential disaster and are usually the first to spot the reason why a venture will not go well.
They feel the world is out to get them always for doing absolutely nothing always.
These individuals believe they have no control over anything in life and when they experience a setback they do absolutely nothing about it. Instead they focus on the negative always.
They are paranoia and are always suspicious of the intentions of others. This prompts them to be guided by negative emotions such as fear, jealousy, resentment, anger, sadness e.t.c.
The victim does not take reponsibility for his/her actions and blames others for all his misfortunes.
The individual wants all and sundry to sympathise with him/her and wants to be commended for going through such disaster.
Such individuals are spinners, they spin negavitity in order to attract sympathy. This is done through exaggeration of events or an outright lie.
They are always in a defensive mode and when friends try to pull them out of this viscious cycle they rather seek justification of their actions. They also view neutral views negatively.
Self pity is prevalent among folks with this mentality, they generally believe everyone gets a better deal or shot at life than them.
How to stop victim mentality.
It is important this learned trait is changed or eliminated as is affects both the sufferer and those around him. The following hints would allow the individual to step out of this abnormal trait:
- Find the source of this acquired mentality,mostly this occurs in childhood or early adulthood. Taking the time to find the underlying cause will set you on your way to recovery.
- Stop blaming others for your predicament, instead try and see the role you played in such situation and make the neccessary adjustments.
- Be grateful for little things and greater things will be bestowed upon you. Gratittude and victim mentality does not go hand in hand as gratitude gives you a new outlook about life generally. It enable you to see the good in every situation.
- Self love: love your neighbour as yourself and you will be able to judge situations correctly and will prevent self sabotage.
- Be kind to others: when you are kind to those around you, it shifts your focus on others and not yourself. This stops the blame game.
- Forgiveness:This enables you to focus on the way forward rather than dwelling on events in the past. You can not change the past but when you act rightly in the present, the future is bright. When you let go you give yourself the opportunity to right the wrong.
- Increase your self confidence:Low self esteem is associated with victim mentality, therefore making sustained effort to increase your self confidence is a welcome development.
- Cultivate the mentality of a survivor: Free yourself from this mental prison and liberate yourself.Be a survivor not a victim and your life will be better for it. Do not undermine yourself neither should you underestimate your will power. You have been giving everything you need to survive and make it in life. You are destined for greatness.
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