Hi, guys!
This time I will not talk about my bipolar disorder, but about another problem I have and I know that a lot of people also have - social anxiety.
At the moment I manage to deal with it, more or less. But time to time it attacks me again.
Earlier it was a huge problem for me o even go to the market and buy some bread. A single thought that I'll have to talk to the vendor made me feel sick. When I grew up I thought a lot about the reasons why it happened, and came to the conclusion that probably everything was hidden in my childhood. My first years were spent in a really cold region where kids usually don't play outside a lot, and then, when I went to school I suffered from bulling a lot. So I just got locked inside myself and subconsciously expected something bad from everyone I met in my life.
Later it transformed to aggression. Yes, I was a really controversial, unpleasant person. And again it took me years to understand that I was doing it for my own protection (again, subconsciously). Still it's quite easy to provoke me on an aggressive reaction.
But despite this fact phobia didn't go anywhere. With years I learned to communicate with people when I see them, and with different messengers (my favorite type of communication, probably one of the reasons why I'm a blogger), but I still have lots of difficulties with talking to new people or especially with phone calls and video chats. The last one is the worst. I really HATE skype, and when I have to have a video call (for example with my clients) - a panic attack is guaranteed.
Even when my husband was on a business trip and we tried to have a video call I was really confused and it ended after 20 seconds. I just felt frozen and could not talk, even with my hubby whom I know for 8 years. Creepy? Yep. creepy.
What I'm leading to. It's not always an impoliteness or deliberate rudeness if someone behaves strange. For example my mother-in-law was offended on me because she thought that I fake that I don't here her when she was asking me questions. When in fact I was thinking too long about the answers and more then that - tried to make myself talk. But it's another story, plus she's a huge extrovert and talks too much.
Sometimes you just need to wait a bit and see what the person really is:)
I wish you all the best and will be happy if you'll support me with vote:)
Love, Inber
