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Stop Thinking about that White Bear - How to Suppress Negative Thoughts
One time in high-school I was caught smoking on the premises. I had to go to the principal's office and wait for my sentence. I thought I was going to be expelled immediately...
I was threatened with being expelled if during the upcoming months I would make even the slightest step into the wrong direction. So, I had to become a monk...
After the initial heat of the moment subsided (after a few days) I became less tense and started allowing other preoccupations in my mind - to be read, concerns. But there were various moments during a given day when I would bring back that bad moment and would start re-living the experience - with all its feelings and emotions attached - the smoke, the principal, the sentence. It would disturb me.
I knew it wasn't okay, which is why I kept trying to suppress thinking about it, but I invariably failed. In fact, suppressing the thought made it worse: I would re-live the moment being caught in action with higher intensity.
I maintained an exemplary conduit until the end of the school year, so I was lucky not to be expelled. The moral of the story?
Stop Thinking of the White Bear
It often happens that in moments of disturbance, when something bad happens to us, when we're anxious or depressed, or when we experience anger we cannot stop the cascade of negative thinking no matter how much we try. We feel the loss of control...
It is the same experience as with panic attacks. You know what triggers your panic attack. Most often than not, it springs from an irrational fear; a fear you can't easily oppose resistance. And the panic attack unleashes anyway.
From what I know, panic attacks are non-life threatening, but they can be debilitating - inducing isolation (often social) from anything that might trigger an attack. Plus, I suspect that there's a chemical imbalance inside the brain that is associated with panic attacks. The neuropsychology of the phenomenon is complex.
According to some psychological theory, the human brain does not operate with negation. It doesn't recognize the signal of 'do not think about that'. For example:
'Do not think of that white bear'
Out of this sentence, what word or words you'd assume gets priority in your brain? I'd say it's probably the noun + the adjective, rather than the verb and the connection words. So, you'd get something like:
'Do not think of that WHITE BEAR'
The white bear allusion comes from an old study from 1987.
Here are more of my assumptions (unproven)
I'll use a different example which could be more resembling.
'Do not think of the car crash.'
Upon recognizing the word 'car crash' I would not only bring back vivid memories about the unpleasant event, but I may also unleash the same negative emotional cascade that was attached to it. Hence, I would feel bad.
I learned about this from Kelly McGonigal's book The Willpower Instinct.
So what should you do when you find yourself in such a situation? What do you do when you find yourself sliding down a negative thinking cascade?
How to Escape
1. The Saving Thought
For this purpose, I propose using a 'saving thought' - the thought that's going to save you from a bad moment, and possibly from the next anxiety attack. Though complex disorders require much more complex and multi-factorial interventions, I think it's worth trying to use it. It worked for me in numerous situations, so it's possible it might work for other people as well.
The 'saving thought' is an experience from your past with strong positive associations. Be it your graduation day, your wedding, your exotic trip, or even that first kiss from the 5th grade. I can remember it...so vividly.
Your 'saving thought' comes packaged with intense emotions. Bring back the thought, re-live it, and fight back the negativity. In theory it may sound simple, but it takes some practice until you get it right consistently. Let me give you an example.
Say I suffer from anxiety whenever I encounter myself in large crowded/public spaces - agoraphobia. I am very tense and nervous in such situations. Moreover, even the thought of going 'public' creates anxiety. My mind often confuses imagination with reality. So what do I do?
I plugin my 'saving thought'. What is my 'saving thought'?
It often happens I feel great joy from riding my bike in the forest. I like the comfortable chill, the sound of birds singing, the silence...Such moments are intensely relaxing. They give me a sense of freedom.
So, whenever I feel giving in to anxiety, I immediately plugin the saving thought. I'm riding my bike. I'm in the forest. I feel good.
My mind cannot simultaneously hold two conflicting thoughts/emotions. Training to immerse myself into the saving thought will allow me to successfully eliminate the anxiety.
2. Gratitude
I'm sure you have dozens of memories that you could repurpose into a saving thought. But if you have difficulty in doing that, experiencing gratitude can be used instead.
Gratitude is one of the most powerful human emotions. All of us can be grateful for many things that take place in our lives. I am grateful for living in the world of today where knowledge is free and when technological advancements bring so many good things in my life. I am grateful for the people around me. I am grateful being able to care for my health. I am grateful for...(you fill in with your gratitude moments).
3. Direct Confrontation
In anxiety disorders psycho-therapists often use the method of direct confrontation. It involves exposing the individual to their fears/phobias in a controlled environment - under the supervision of the therapist. The individual learns to gradually disassociate the stimuli (trigger of the fear) with the feeling of fear itself. The fear is often irrational.
Ending Thoughts
More often than not, you will not go as far to implement direction confrontation. In our daily lives we can save ourselves from spiraling down in emotional negativity by tuning in to great moments from our past or by simply experiencing gratitude.
Remember, your mind doesn't work well with negation. So make sure how you pay attention to your most active thoughts. Also, remember that it's not easy for your mind to hold opposing thoughts and feelings simultaneously. It's energy demanding. It's dissonant.
When negativity, anger, fear or that white bear kicks in, you fight back with your 'saving thought'.
Look, I'll try to frame everything in a minute-or-so of video (thanks to Business Insider):
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Cristi Vlad, Self-Experimenter and Author
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