Most of the following quick fixes are powerful enough to flip how you feel on a physical or on a mental level almost instantly or after about 5 minutes.
Incorporate just one of techniques or mindsets and you did yourself a huge favor. Include all of them and you will change as a person.
- Sit comfortably and take deep breaths in through the nose for 1 sec, and exhale for 1 sec through the mouth. Repeat this ten times or more. Hold the last breath for about 30 seconds before exhaling slowly.
This will get you in a very pleasant state of mind. Generally speaking, any conscious breathing technique gives you that little high and disconnects you from repetitive thought loops. You become the observer of your thoughts. It's like watching your own thoughts from a 3rd person perspective.
If you are too unfocused to meditate (breathing consciously for a period of time, focusing on the breathing instead of focusing on thoughts that come in), or you don't have the patience to practice it, then the quick breathing technique described above is right for you. It is the closest thing to a magic pill that forces you into a better state.
- Beat anxiety by conscious total-relaxation of the muscles. Let your muscles become soft one after another, even the jaw and the neck.
It's impossible to feel anxious when your muscles are totally relaxed, because it requires the muscles to contract, to stiffen up. It's also noteworthy to mention that you cannot feel anxious and humored at the same time. So watching something that makes you laugh is on of the few things of TV that I consider being part of personal development.
- Physiology overwrites any state:
Lift your body, shoulders, and your head. You cannot feel bad with the body language of someone who is in a good state.
Hold a power pose for two minutes. A great example and explanation can be watched here:
- Don't compare yourself with others. You cannot win this competition. Live your own life at your own pace, and be excited for any progress that you make at your own pace. It's the only thing that counts for you.
People compare what they have and what they are relatively to others, not absolutely. We live better lives than kings of the past, yet we don't value even that enough.
- Anything you do, no matter the negative outcome, is fine because it resulted from your decision. And if the outcome puts you in a bad position, it means you needed that event to happen for you to grow as a person.
This applies to little events such as saying something wrong or big events like losing money. It's always fine because it was the best decision you could come up with at that time and paradigm your were stuck in. Even if you considered to do what would have been the right decision, it would only have been a better guess.
- Do not waste energy by thinking about something you can not change by thinking about it.
People easily remember open loops, stuff that they still need to address, finish, or sort out. This is draining a lot mental energy and causes fatigue of the mind. Another way to load off what's on your mind is the so-called Mind Sweep. You just write down all the points that are on your mind on a piece of paper or a doc file. It helps to stop thinking about it any longer.
Find something you can honestly appreciate about people, or about your daily life that you might have taken for granted all this time. Practicing appreciation and training that muscle will put you in a good mood on a biochemical level.
Stop being a nice guy. Have boundaries. Know beforehand when you want to say no and when you agree to something. If you would like to behave a certain way around people and be treated a certain way, make sure to get your way by pointing out when others cross your boundaries, or when they ask you to do it.
The reason to know your boundaries beforehand
is so you can reply and react quickly and with conviction. Not just to convince others, but also to convince yourself you are sure about what you want or do not want. When people let others cross their boundaries, their minds degenerate and become more immature.
Did you learn something new from that? Which tip piqued your interest?
Let me know in the comments!