Nostalgia, yearning for the past is inherent in human beings. We look for pleasure, the emotions that are far removed from pain, but reality and circumstances always end up showing us that it will not always be all colors and sounds pleasant. One of these circumstances is the fact that past situations that we long to repeat will never come back, will never be what they were at that very moment, in that precise context... etc.
Every minute and every second that passes is unique. Reality is so complex that everything we live and experience it is unrepeatable .We can try to repeat a perfect experience but there will always be something different, just the fact of having already lived it makes it different, our unconscious knows it, our conscious too and we can not change this. We may try to deceive ourselves and try to recover moments from the past, but deep inside we know that we cannot.
In this post I want to tell you about how I dealt with depression and anxiety and sometimes continue to do so. I write based on my experience.
Accept
The first thing we have to do is accept that there is a problem with the fact that we cannot overcome some situation that is not of the present, maybe even of the future and thinking about what will happen makes us anxious.
This part may be difficult to discern, so I highly recommend, at least a couple of times, to meditate and soothe our thoughts in order to realize that we have a problem.
Express out
Since we've accepted that we have a problem, the first thing we need to do is to seek support from the people we meet, but beware, there are three types of people you could turn to:
1. Those who can support us
2. Those who would like to support us but not maturity
3. Toxic people
It is worth mentioning that toxic people, that is to say, those who have many vices that damage health such as alcoholism, drug addiction or are violent, should be avoided. The second type of people, those who intend to help us, are those who are very positive, are very open to communication but are not mature enough to give us good advice and are probably going through difficult times as well.
Finally, the first type of people are those who have the maturity to help us and the intention as well.
The way we can approach these people can be by being honest and tell them that we are going through a problem and want to talk about it. If they tell us that you can't at the moment, we should make an appointment and find someone else who can help us, it does not matter how many people we contact for help, we will find someone who get into the first kind of people. This will help us a lot.
Fix up
Since we have expressed our feelings and thoughts, the situation may still be causing depression or anxiety. Depending on who or what is involved, we should try to conclude that situation, talk with the person involved in that past or future experience, and clarify once and for all our doubts or externalise what we want to say.
Do
Regardless of the result of having concluded the situation that afflicted us, the best thing to do is to start doing the things that we like the most and the ones that please us the most. Beyond making those hobbies that we probably don't feel like doing, we should try to make any situation as pleasant as possible, eat our favorite dishes, listen to our favorite music, see our favorite people, etc... This will be much more natural and effective in overcoming depression than starting by doing what we don't like so much.
Work
After a few days of doing what we like the most, it is time to return to our lives and responsibilities. Trying to take on these tasks and working on them will help us stabilize our emotions.
Take care of
If we reached a critical state of depression or anxiety and had to follow the steps above is probably because we didn't have emotional intelligence. The best thing to do is to go to a psychologist at least once a week and start learning about our emotions. Trying to read books on topics such as depression, reading this type of post, talking to experts will help us a lot not only in those moments but throughout our lives as well. We will mature at a very big pace if we dedicate the necessary time to our emotions, to learn about them and their management. However, This process will not take days or weeks, we must take care of our emotional health constantly and learn about these issues. Life is integral and if we neglect things inherent in ourselves, such as emotions, we may have serious problems.
I hope this post will serve you if you are having a hard time, I write it based on my experience, based on my perception, as a combination of what I have lived and learned, however I hope you comment your opinion
References