My grandma used to tell me that life back in the day was tough. Most couples used to have as many children as possible so they could help around. The young members of the family were seen more or less as a financial asset since extra working hands for the fields was the most valuable commodity. Thus, families made sure to have at least half dozen children each. Due to the harsh conditions and lack of medication each family also lost children. To my surprise, my grandma told me that parents weren't affected as much since it was considered rather normal for the day.
It was this notion that got me into thinking about the nature of psychological trauma. Parents in most western countries would feel devastated if they lost a child. The reason being is rather obvious. Unlike the past, modern medicine has enabled us to have longer lifespans. Child mortality has become unacceptable. The experience becomes traumatic because we compare the negative event of the loss of a child that happens only to us and not to others.
I am a fan of the show "The Walking Dead". I don't fancy much the zombie theme but rather the anthropological aspects of a community trying to survive. In the show, every surviving individual has lost many people close to them. Almost always, they got to kill the zombie versions of their friends. Although people seemed to be quite traumatized in the beginning in the first season, this changed slowly as more and more people were having a similar traumatic experience. Fast forward a few seasons later on, and they all got desensitized to killing zombies or even losing someone close to them. Life and death were not seeing so far apart since death was not only expected but also welcomed.
We can observe similar behavior in elderly homes. Old people don't seem to care that much due to the understanding of their situation. Their children don't mind much either. They expect that they will die since slowly they have been losing all their friends. They know the end is inevitable. In contrast, we don't see this behavior in clinics with children that have leukemia. Their parents are torn apart even if the children don't quite grasp their own death. Not many children get to die so young from such a horrible disease.
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Rape victims also experience this form of trauma. They realize the gravity of the situation only when they grow old and understand what happened to them. They compare their experience with how culture perceives normal sexual behavior and they are torn apart. It is hypothesized that if children were not introduced to the cultural aspect of rape and normal sexual behavior they wouldn't feel traumatized. Even those who end up abusing children sexually, most often, they are repeating the same experience that happened to them. It was the first sexual experience they had so in their world it registered as normative.
Soldiers having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder suffer from something similar. War introduces someone to horrific imagery and actions that cannot be processed accordingly when coming back to a healthy society. Almost everything looks like a dream. This is the main reason most veterans find it so hard to adjust while people who remain in the field seem to accept the reality of the situation. The traumatic experience is not so much the event itself but rather the transition and comparison one makes to a healthy environment.
We often wonder why spoiled children that live in luxurious neighborhoods have "silly" traumas. To them they are certainly not. A child might be comparing themselves with multimillionaire children. If his parents make only 6 figures then the child will feel inferior. The measure by which we compare makes all the difference. Similarly, if we take a western child to a poor African neighborhood they will be devastated even if they have all the necessities to stay alive. And let us not forget that from their perspective, we are the spoiled ones.
Psychological trauma is nothing more than how we measure our life experiences to those around us. If something bad happens to us and not to others then we are devastated. In time, if something bad happens to everyone then it passes unnoticeable. Self-help groups work so well because one's environment becomes normalized. No matter what kind of bad experience one has, someone is there to share a similar story.
We are social animals. Comparing ourselves to others is inevitable. The majority of psychological disorders do stem from a lack of connection. We perceive our world being much different from those around us. Technology plays a major role to this since everyone has become a unique individual, able to digest tons of different material and thus create a completely new narrative.
Unfortunately there is no solution to this. The middle path doesn't cut it. Medication and therapy don't help either and this the reason psychological disorders seem to spread like a growing epidemic. We could sacrifice our individuality by being groupies but then we will become sheeple. We could choose to be groupies to relate to everyone but our minds will understand the hypocrisy and hit us back. We can't really fool ourselves. No doubt, hive minds are healthier even if they appear nuttier to the rest of us.
There is a reason loners suffer from depression and anxiety. There is a reason almost all of us are becoming loners as well. We are slowing being cut off from the world because we abundant information crafts our own unique reality. Every experience for us can be traumatic in comparison to others. Nobody can understand us because we are way too much into our own selves. When we occasionally measure ourselves to others, we panic.
As long as we are bound to our biological bodies and technology keeps increasing, psychological traumas will only become more prevalent.
