It was a typical day. I turned off the alarm a few minutes before it went off. In a corner of my eye I saw my dog stirring. It was a beautiful morning and I slowly got up.
Then it hit me. That debilitating feeling, of being unable to move a muscle, I am weighed down by a force. Normally my dog would never jump on the bed because he knows he is not allowed to. Yet at that instance he jumped on me and began licking my hand as if saying " I am here hooman, you are not alone." Sigmund Freud said that dogs have an uncanny knack of being very sensitive to people's feeling and that they would recognize and will try to do their part to calm a patient down. Sigmund Freud would often has his dog So-Fi sitting by his desk while he is working.
In a way my dog was able to muffle the voice screaming in my head. A bit he was able to drive away the darkness and I was able to proceed to prepare for the day.
I got to work and even manage to check on everyone. Made a few jokes, even talk a bit on plans for next week and then sat down. I was able to do my work by rote. Everything was automatic and I could practically be asleep and would finish my task.
During a meeting I found myself doodling on a piece of paper. I was half trying to hide what I was doing when by chance I saw a mole in my arm. The speaker was droning on and I found myself adding a small squiggly line beneath it. There it was a semicolon and I knew things were going to get better. I could hear and understand people again, color came back and I could smell and taste the coffee before me.
A semicolon is a punctuation mark used to be able to signify a pause between two main clauses. Amy Bleulel of Project Semicolon gave a better meaning to a semicolon.
Photo credit to Grammarly
It is estimated by WHO that one out of four adults suffer from a form of mental syndromes ranging from very mild ones to very serious ones that debilitate them from having any semblance of life.
I have been diagnosed as having depression. I had serious doubts as well when I first heard about it. I have a great and funny family, a love one who has stood by me for quite sometime, a career that I love and although I am not rich I am comfortable enough to be able to live a full life. There was nothing supposed to be wrong but there was. I would have episodes like this that I couldn't stand up. That food has no taste, colors would be blurred and nothing make sense.
A few days ago mental health became a hot topic because of a noon time celebrity host decided to tell a million people who could be influenced that mental health, in particular depression, was all made up and not real. It was done solely to elicit pity and a worthless life. I kid you not and when he said it all blood just rushed in my head and made me really angry.
He has, after a day, apologize but it sparked a Twitter and Facebook storm beforehand. In a way he was able to generate attention and purpose to a lot of people and understand what mental health is.
I look at the symbol in my arm and breathe. I close my eyes and calmly reassure myself. Each one of us responds differently to stimulus and treatment. What could work for me might not be applicable to you. Each one of us grew up diffeerntly and with different ideologies, method, upbringing and personality. Each treatment would need to fit the individual.
I remember being across several people and just talking out. I remember being given drugs for it, I remember being asked to do a project or take up a hobby.
Providing purpose and a goal makes you look straight ahead and leave the thought behind. As you take each small step forward you try to get better. Not you but I try to get better.
That symbol in my arm is statement that my story will not end today. Not today...
If you are suffering from mental symptoms it is important to not feel alone or worthless. Help is always there. For more information and tips in fighting down your inner demons please go to https://projectsemicolon.com/