Some time ago I receieved an email from a woman who did not support a project I'm involved in. I took her words personally as an attack to what I was working on and felt like I had to "retaliate" by talking about her to my friend behind her back. Fortunatly I caught myself in time to not do this, but the desire to talk $h!t stepped forth quickly!!
This is a particular tendency we as women do (I don't know about men?). We have not been effectivley trained nor educated to understand our emotions and how to work with them when we feel personally attacked or hurt, etc. We tend to want to go into our girl group to talk about it in ways where we can justify how the other person is wrong/flawed, to somehow feel better about ourselves, uniting against a particular person or thing, but what ends up happening is the issue doesn't get resolved, and grudges and misunderstandings start fueling. You as a person degrade. People take sides and gossip spurs. It can get nasty.
This is why I made a personal commitment to live certain principles in myself as a woman - because in my 30 years of life I've reached a point where I have to start living in a way that nurtures my living and myself. Even if this means speaking up for things alone. Even if this means letting go of relationships and projects that do not align to where I am in my life. Even if this means standing alone. It's hard though. Really hard to stand in your principles and live it. But I know how I would feel and be if I continue in my old ways.