There are three ways to love: with the head, with the heart and with the gut.
In the head, wanting is called preferring;
In the heart, love
In the gut, Wish.
Or you love with the three, or you are destined to chaos.
Love is a team game. Team with the other person and team with yourself. Or better, it's a balancing game. Oddly enough, one may want to have something long term with one person, fall in love with another and want to sleep with another.
Think of a move in which everyone gives a different order of how to place or assemble the piece of furniture. Who do you obey? Disaster and discussion are assured. A bet of success needs unanimity. Only when head, heart and gut are aligned, the chosen person is desired and love enjoyed.
It is not enough to desire, nor is it enough to prefer, nor is it worth to love. Head, heart and gut are three forces that must be thrown together.
Three strings that so easily become a mess as they spin a beautiful braid. It is the alignment that keeps us standing. Has it ever happened to you that .... A person attracts you so much that, every time you have it near, Troy is by his side a bonfire and the works of Shakespeare, they look like children's literature. Your belly burns and your body trembles, but your head tells you that it is not what you are looking for. Or vice versa. She is a ten person, ideal, affectionate, brave, attentive, good, fun ... but she does not turn you on.
The head saying yes, and your gut saying no. Falling in love is gut; love is heart It is important not to confuse him.
Because to love you have to love yourself, and falling in love with a destructive person is the opposite of loving yourself. The vast majority of dilemmas and suffering suffer from not falling in love with what you love. One can be pretentious even of the devil, because you fall in love with what attracts you, not with what you deserve or with who deserves it.
The gut does not understand justice. There are real idiots with beautiful people coladitas for them. Can anyone understand it? It is the most obvious example of the power that the gut exerts on the head. It takes a lot of maturity to not succumb. "Do not be with a person because without her you die, but because with her you live".
You do not choose who you fall in love with, but you do choose who you expose yourself to. Put another way: if you do not surround yourself with cocoons, you do not fall in love with cocoons [1]. If you do not give them three coffees (when you still can), you will not want the room. Likewise, if you have already fallen in love, you choose if you let yourself go or impose yourself.
That's what the head is for, to choose, to remind you to fall in love with what you love. What was your ideal before I met you? What do you expect from a travel companion? What did you want? It is this? Fall in love with what you love and what only attracts you, fuck it (or whatever you want, but do not confuse).
Being clear about what we want is the best filter to avoid impostors. What you want or nothing. Mercecete and do not settle. If you lose control, you lose yourself; but if you cling too much to control, you lose enjoyment. Balance.
The head can never be a brake, but a guide that tells us when to control the passion and when to release it; when to take her out to dance and when to let go. Love is too big a gift to not enjoy. Do not be with a person because without it you die, but because with it you live, always understanding that in love not everything is happiness, that there are ups and downs and that the opposite of a beloved life is a flat life a full life.
And the heart, what does it say about all this? To the heart many times it does not give him time to think. It's that bench player who, still hot, does not have time to jump. The heart needs minutes. The heart is attachment, bond, habit, connection, and it requires a time that many times it is not given. "They are not good times for the heart," it is said. And it is not said to say. We are in a time that could well be titled I wish you a lot, I get you fast and I stop wanting you soon.
The heart does not understand why it is the last one we ask, or why if an imaginary axis is drawn in our body, it is left aside when the gut and head are centered; he does not understand why we do not remember that the word corduranació him (cor-is heart in Latin), or that in English know something of memory is known by heart Is it always saner who thinks the most? Is not co-reason next to reason? "Being clear about what we want is the best filter to avoid impostors. What you want or nothing. " The heart is as necessary as the head, because the only antidote against fear is love, and both love and fear coincide in something: they do not listen to reasons.
Any rational argument, neither mitigates fear nor frightens love. However many times they tell you that the plane is the safest medium, you do not lose your fear of flying. You have to learn to live with fear in the same way you have to learn to live loving. It is the heart that allows you to continue despite the shock. There is no long flight (worthwhile) without turbulence. One last time: head, heart and gut, for many differences that they present and for many discussions, they must come together to solve the indications that love is almost always a paradox.
It is that "scorching ice" or that "frozen fire" that Quevedo said, or that "neither with you, nor without you" of Sabina or Machado. It is necessary to remember that in love, as in everything, there can be no servants: neither the reason of passion, nor the heart of sanity. All are necessary: the head to suggest patience when the gut says "I want, I want and I want"; the heart to tell "quiet" reason when, with doubts, fear invades; and the gut to light a candle to the heart when it is created off ....