Statistics gathered over my 10 years of practice show that women who refuse sex would agree to it in 91% of cases if men had "warmed them up" beforehand.
The standard sexual act goes like this:
- The man is the initiator, he wants sex because he thought about it, saw something, or there is a suitable time.
- The man starts getting aroused, and he does it several times faster than a woman.
- Already aroused, the man starts to push his woman for sex and gets rejected.
This situation leads to resentment, sadness, silence, and sometimes even fights...
In this situation, men should remember that:
- Women need three times more time to get aroused: if you come ready for battle in a couple of minutes, she needs at least 5-7 minutes.
- Women get aroused not only between their legs but also in their heads. Therefore, even ordinary lubrication in the vagina is not enough to make her want sex.
- A female brain does not get aroused until it finishes previous processes, thoughts, and actions that distracted it because the female "inhibitory" system is much stronger than a male one.
Want proof? Women are more multitasking because they can disconnect from one activity and suddenly switch to another. This is how our inhibitory system works.
Women cope more easily by combining two jobs, a family, several children, and their personal needs - again, thanks to our inhibitory system. It is simple physiology that cannot be argued.
What happens in a woman's head when a man unexpectedly initiates sex?
In a woman's head, there is one important task she is currently working on: work, manicure, cooking, cleaning, and so on. Other tasks and thoughts fall under that very "inhibitory" system, which means that consciousness ignores them to avoid overwhelming the nervous system.
The man with his unexpected caresses falls under the "inhibitory" signal and is ignored. Consequently, his caresses and kisses do not arouse her because the woman is inhibiting herself.
To avoid this, there is a simple action plan:
- Ask the woman to tell you when she will have at least 10 free minutes, under the pretext of helping you.
- When she is ready, start with foreplay and let it continue for at least 5-7 minutes.
- Use lubrication - it helps to reduce friction if the woman is mentally ready for sex, but her body has not produced enough lubrication.
- Talk to the woman to redirect her attention from external tasks to sex: how beautiful she is, how much you love her, how much you enjoy her smell…
Undoubtedly, these tips do not guarantee that you will have sex, but they significantly increase its probability.
Have a good day!