Of the people that I observe on a day to day basis, there seems to be a recurring theme to their conversations.
This is the theme of "I'm being watched"
Or perhaps it's more of a "I need to prove myself"
Or maybe even "I should do what I am expected to do"
In emotional terms it feels a bit like "I'm not entirely comfortable, so I'm trying to gauge what makes other people feel OK, so that I can do that and feel OK too".
I conferred with my own life experience and found that yes indeed I have lived through those exact states of being. In essence it's a need for acceptance and approval for my own behavior. It makes sense really - because clearly I can't take responsibility for myself. Without being controlled I might revert back to my natural state, which is presumably immoral, wrong, and dangerously unknowable in it's outcome.
These are underlying motivators for human behavior. These motivators are sometimes the conscious thought stream, or it could be more of a subtle subconscious thing. Some people are oblivious to what drives their behaviour, others are aware of it but still live out the program. A precious handful of people know about these urges and experience them, but instead they act of their own volition.
The ideal for me is not giving a fuck (in a connected and kind way).
These people are powerful
These people have presence
This is how to become magnetic, it's by being radically free. Other people are immensely attracted to it, because it is a trait that they want in their own lives (mostly subconsciously). When we say someone has 'the x factor' or that they are just plain 'lovely' or 'magical', really what we are saying is that they have a radiance that we enjoy. This kind of radiance is produced by taking the reigns of your own life and overriding the social programming.
When we boil the whole thing down, we can see that playing these expectation games is a strange way of avoiding the conversation with ourselves. It's the conversation with ourselves that is the really important one. If we avoid being deeply honest with ourselves then all other conversations will carry the flavor of that dishonesty. It might be popular with other mask wearers but it won't ring true, it won't bring you greatness and deep satisfaction.
The whole conversation is just us - each of us is completely alone in this sense. It's you and your thoughts, so you better get used to it. It could be incredibly useful to find some stability in that mind storm, so we can be less controlled by it, and more able to shape it. It might actually be a fun game, if we can establish some sense of how the whole thing works.
Despite it being 'just us', we have a strange way of playing out this mental game in the world. We involve other people and our crazy projections about who they should be. We make everything that we say and do about the story inside our heads, and we call this connection. We call this reality.
It's your relationship with the mind that will ultimately decide how your life pans out.
Because if we are being honest then no one is really watching us, or at least not with the same intensity we are watching ourselves - waiting for the next slip up. We are intensely watching ourselves and waiting for some proof of our misery or greatness, or whatever other story we are running on.
We don't have to prove ourselves to anyone either, we only have to meet our own standards. Better yet we could drop the standards, which are actually a subtle self judgement - "you're not worthy unless you meet this criteria". Yes we want to progress and grow, but do we want to do so under the threat of removing our love and happiness? Children rarely thrive on such a diet, although many are force fed this as the 'just desserts' of it being inflicted on the parent by their own parents.
And so another generation is shut down emotionally, creating a unnecessary barrier to self actualization. The crazy ones will still make it through, beyond all logic and programming. Intensity and conviction can burn away all untrue things. Yet should we need such intensity to have a basic level of freedom? I would hope we can hand to the next generation enough self honesty to not impair their growth.
This is the madness that is perpetuated on a day to day basis all around us, yet it's normalized so there's no big deal. There might be a bit of a kerfuffle if you speak against these long standing programs though. And if you are strong, and you do it for the right reasons - you will do it anyway. Because the shame is just another program, it's the shame not being approved of. And if we can go there then our power level is really going up.
We can be quietly powerful too. It's actually best to focus on ourselves and regaining our own freedom. That is a real opportunity, and that is something that you have control over. Another person's freedom can never be guaranteed, we all have our own free will.
The unfortunate truth is that this free will is mostly used to reinforce the expected stories of our lives.
Choose Freedom
Defy the Program
Be an Example
Super Powers Activate!
