I was a depressed teenager. I kept a diary, in which every day I promised myself to become better. I wanted to be good for parents. Even when they died, I wanted to be an ideal daughter for them. It was impossible - I was an unloved child. Perhaps my parents loved me the way they could love. But I did not feel it. I thought that I could earn their love.
Many years passed, I received a good education, had a course of psychoanalysis and built my life. The teenage idea of
self-development was embodied in concrete tasks. But even now, sometimes, I understand that in my head critical remarks of parents sound. They believed that the child should be brought up with criticism. Now I know how to deal with this. I just thank the inner parent for the care.
I know that parental criticism does not make a child good and successful. It takes away the energy of creativity. It prevents to live. I rejoice when my child comes up and asks: "Praise me, Mom. I need this".
People, if you often criticize children, do not do it! Stop it! Criticism is not a concern. Criticism is your projection of an unfortunate person. We criticize our children to solve their internal problems. But these are our problems. They have nothing to do with the personalities of our children.
Photo from here