When heroes fall.
People watch with intrigue, others cry in outrage at the impossible, and some revel in seeing the hero’s humanity. What people tend to forget is each and every individual has the capacity for great evil as well as astounding greatness. Kindness, compassion, hate, envy, and more all share the same space. In our Western mindset, we tend to separate the opposites. Day and night do not happen at the same time. Up or down but not both. This separation is not possible when it comes to people’s behavior, capacity, and emotions.
Humans are not cosmic forces. We are not good OR evil. Those who are “good” have to fight to be that way. Fight against the desire to get revenge. Internally they struggle with the desire to be petty when someone stabs at their character. Hold their tongues when they are angry because they know nothing said in anger will get them what they want. Those very same people have the capacity for both deep love as well as seething hate. In fact, I argue that the individual feels both, but decides which to display.
In recent news, a person I have positive memories about was accused of sexual abuse in years past. The investigation began, and of course, I was sad to hear of the accusation. There are a few obvious outcomes, he did cross a line, she is making it up, or a misinterpretation of intent leading to feelings of crossing a line. With him being in a position of authority, the accusation has negative professional effects.
The most disheartening part was seeing many say “That is impossible” or “Obviously a lie!”. My gut went “why? What about that seems impossible?” Does he not have sexual urges? Sure, I don’t want to think about that when it comes to him, but he is HUMAN. He’s not in a bubble. Maybe he did love his job. He inspired so many to do great things or be a better person. That very same person could have also exploited another. At least a handful of people mentioned feeling demeaned by him. Since he is simply a person, I can see each scenario play out.
To emphasize, this is not a gender thing. The hero I have watched fall happens to be male, but this is a human failing, not a male thing. Back to the point, the outcry of the accusation being a lie or an act for attention has brought a certain level of disappointment for myself. If your hero is great, then remind them what they have meant to yourself. However, do not for one moment believe they are incapable of doing horrible things. Your hero is not necessarily amazing to another individual.
Perhaps that is why I liked the Biblical “heroes”. Many will disagree with this point, but I liked hearing about these flawed people. It meant that I could still be considered great despite my imperfections, and not to beat myself up for mistakes. Moses? He lashed out in anger more than once. Elijah had great faith and felt despair. Human was human and that did not mean God gave up on them.
That leads me to watching social reaction to what many consider to be a wonderful person. They put him on a pedestal and take it as a personal slight that he might not live up to THEIR expectations. In no uncertain terms I will emphasize that it was their held expectations because he is clearly capable of doing these terrible things.
My wrap up is this, reconsider your heroes. What pedestal do you put them on? What expectations do you have of them? What will you do if truth reveals they do not meet those expectations? Better yet, have you reached out to let them know how much they mean(t) to you? As a human I can say that last bit is encouraging ;)
Despite the seriousness, here's my wonderful dog reminding me to take joy in the world.
