How much perceptions about other people blind us. For example with your boss you have to be a certain way, with your mother a certain way because apparently you have to behave differently with every person that you meet. This is not true. In my case I have had the opportunity to have people that wanted to help me out but I didn't take their hand because we had a work relationship for example I am the employee and he is the 'boss' so I can't talk straight to the person apparently - not true - real communication starts when one is honest with oneself and gets rid of all judgement to the other person because of his/her position and talks to the being straight, considering consequence of course but allowing oneself to be real when the other person is there for you.
It may make not much sense for you as I am being too vague. It is because I don't want to name people here. But let's say you have a cool 'boss' at work but you don't allow yourself to share what is going on with your life, the individual has helped you before with giving you a job and showing signs that he/she has common sense and is supportive of you - the best thing to do is to when things don't go well, share them to find solutions together where the individual can lend a hand.
Because before I had used other people to know other people, asked what do you think of this person to someone else, would you trust this person? Instead of asking these questions to myself! Of course if I get the answers from someone else I am trusting on his/her view and it may be biased!
So this post is to remind me and you dear reader that you can't know a person through someone else, you either do it yourself or it is not possible, and even then I have to remove all judgement of position, status and merely look at the facts, at all our interactions and how the other person has interacted with me to know what is the deal with that person.
Alright have a nice day!
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people for their position in relation to me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself form x for his position.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to talk straght to x because I trusted others opinions about him.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to others opinions and judgements about someone else.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not assess for myself who I am going to trust and who not, relying on others for advice.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself by accepting others judgements about other people as true.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live with judgements towards other people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take others judgements about a person as true without doing my own research.
When and as I see myself wanting to know someone through someone else - I stop, I breathe.
I realize I can only know someone through myself if I give myself the opportunity to open up to him/her when I have decided I can trust him/her.
And thus, I commit myself to decide for myself based on all the information that I have to open up to someone else or not, not decided by an other's opinion/judgement of that person - as it might be biased from the true nature of the being - and I might never get to know him/her if I listen to such judgements.
When and as I see myself having judgements about other people - I stop, I breathe.
I realize judgements blind me from seeing the person for real.
And thus, I commit myself to get rid of all judgement, from myself and from others about any individual.
When and as I see myself looking for 'advice' on other people - I stop, I breathe.
I realize I can ask what one thinks of some individual but have to always take it with a pinch of salt and always assess it for myself too.
And thus, I commit myself to assess for myself who I am going to trust, me having the final decision not someone elses opinion about the individual I am considering trusting.
When and as I see myself wanting others to tell me how an individual is - I stop, I breathe.
I realize people will most of the time tell their view that might be biased.
And thus, I commit myself to consider all things when deciding to trust someone yet not base my final decision to trust an individual by listening to others judgements about that person - but that it is me who decides who I trust.
When and as I see myself fearing to trust someone - I stop, I breathe.
I realize that I have enough experience to know when I have proof that someone is supportive of me or not.
And thus, I commit myself to trust myself when I decide to trust someone, based on real space-time events that have happened as evidence that I can trust this being - or not.
When and as I see myself holding myself back from real communication with a being - I stop, I breathe.
I realize that somewhere I might be judging myself or the being or both.
And thus, I commit myself to check all judgements I might have of me, him/her and our relationship to make sure I am clear and can communicate effectively, without judgement.
When and as I see myself asking someone if I can trust this or that being - I stop, I breathe.
I realize what others decide to do with their life in terms of trusting someone is their decision and that I can take my own decisions.
And thus, I commit myself to take my own decisions in relation to who I decide to trust and who not, not taking others decisions as my own but make my own.
I originally wrote this post here: https://bipolarsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2018/10/day-91-perceptions-about-other-people.html
