The concern is natural and common to all human beings. However, we are often left with worries, forgetting that the occupation may be what we need to move forward.
The concern responds to a mental attempt to find a solution to a situation that causes us anxiety. This situation or problem could have already happened, but it could also refer to a possibility that we imagine. It is a cognitive activity that prepares us for what we believe will happen. Therefore, concern appears as a mechanism to generate actions and thus face different difficulties.
However, we are concerned and often change the problem without finding a solution. We keep thinking about things that concern us, generating circles in which we connect problems to the point that we almost forget that the goal was to find a solution.
Why are we investing more time in worry than in occupation?
Worry is the first step in solving a problem. However, sometimes, the feeling of having begun to "intervene in the matter" reassures us that we perceive ourselves as if we were closer to finding a solution.
This tranquility in the short term leads us to relax until the behavior is sometimes avoidance. We avoid occupation because we feel more comfortable with the concern. Although we do not like to be worried.
Time passes, and although we feel we are facing the problem, we can still feel that we have stagnated. That we have gone from generating forms and / or alternatives to thinking repetitively about an idea that causes us anxiety. It is then when worry loses its function and becomes a great obstacle that deprives us of an infinite time and energy without even realizing it.
How to handle concerns
Here are some ideas to reduce the role of concerns that hold us back and open the door to occupation.
Take a step back: try to be objective
Let's analyze what concerns us objectively and observe what we believe will happen. We are often not realistic about our predictions, because our emotions are involved. Would we see it the same way if a friend or family member had this problem? Consider the validity (realism) and the probability that even if it is realistic, it will happen.
Take a step forward: imagine the worst
And if what worries us so much happened? Imagine the worst Even if this happens, we will tend to be better able to cope with events as they transcend assumptions and become reality. We are infinitely stronger in occupation than in concern.
Accept that there are inevitable things
If what worries us is something that will happen, regardless of what we can do, think about what we can do to better face the situation. There are things that we can not control. However, we can decide to protect ourselves and live them so that the impact is cushioned. Keep in mind that going back to the details of a problem for which there is no solution is a guarantee of suffering.
Protect yourself
Let us protect ourselves, strengthen the aspects that we consider necessary to better face the moment. The best protection can sometimes be a distraction. Other times, on the other hand, the solution depends on us and then it is time to move on to occupation. To do this, it is necessary to break with this relationship or express what we have kept in ourselves for so long.
Take a moment to worry
If we need to think about something and find that, to avoid devoting all its attention, this thought accompanies us as a shadow throughout the day, permeating the rest of the emotions and thoughts ... Let's stop. We realize here that our worries are not useful: they only distract us and generate anxiety. Let us find a moment to devote ourselves to this problem without a clear solution, so that it stops reasoning all day as an echo in our head.
That's what Voltaire said. In fact, sometimes we waste a lot of time and energy looking for the best way, the one that is perfect. Where possible, do not hesitate. Take some time to look for alternatives, solutions. However, after this period of time, it is time to make a decision, even if the options we have are far from perfect. This will be the time to opt for the "least bad".
Be brave
There does not have to be any problem or concern behind each solution. We are growing and, in the same way, we internalize the idea that worry is a necessary echo to face a problem. However, occupation can exist without worry. It is about addressing the events from the acceptance and the certainty that we can do what is in our power.
Beyond the concerns
The landscape is behind the wall of concern. Sometimes earthquakes or storms that erase everything ... for a moment. Other times, the sun rises, it rains and the colors explode. All this happens sometimes on the same day.
We want to say here that when we stay too long behind the wall, for fear of what is happening on the other side, what is on the other side does not change. We lose time and the clouds do not stop: they go through any wall. However, if we do not want to get wet, let's take an umbrella. And if we do not have an umbrella, let's enjoy the rain.
"Do not look at the clock, do what she does, keep moving".
-Sam Levenson-
