A few years back Oliver my son, stated that he needed a iphone, and hade asked santa for said phone.. On top of that he hade also requested a xbox, plus some more cutly expensive gifts ;)
My head was spinning like crazy and i thought- “His appetite could easily gobble my savings if left unchecked.”
But; the the truth of the matter, though, is that Oliver is neither gluttonous nor narcissistic. He simply shares two traits all humans possess—one, he’s a big wanter.
By nature, he wants a lot, and he wants lots of what he wants.
That is a big part of being human.
So far, so good. Oliver also possesses another characteristic shared by humans as well: with his human mind,
he finds it easy to conclude that, because he wants something, he needs it, absolutely must have it.
“I want an iPhone,” easily transformed into “I need an iPhone” in his mind ^^
See if that's not true for you. You got to get there on time.” “I have to do well on that project.” “I must impress them.” “I need that.”
The sad fact is that this mental gymnastic—convincing yourself you need what you want—results in misery.
Let's use the relatively inconsequential matter of Oliver thinking he needs an iPhone.
So where do you fall into the I need/I must have trap?
Is it with regard to doing well and succeeding? Does it have to do with thinking you need to be loved, approved, appreciated?
Despite what you've been taught, you have no needs except for food, water, shelter, and air.
Now think about that cookie a bit ;)
No one has died from failing to get what he or she wants—that includes success of any kind, affection from whoever, approval, and, yes, even an iPhone LOL :P
Sure, there is disappointment, frustration, or sadness when we don't get what we want. But devastation only results when we think we need—must have, can't live without—what we want.
Some takeaways for you to find more happiness in your life.
• Be a big wanter. Figure out what you genuinely want and work your heart out to make it a reality.
After all, seeking and savoring fun, pleasure, and happiness is what gives life gusto.
• No matter what you want, nor how much you want it, never convince yourself that you need it.
By doing that, you'll experience gratification when you get what you want, but never destruction when you don’t.
• Make a habit of not using any of the need words or phrases—
“must,” “got to,” “have to,” “need,” and “should.” Try, use words such as “want,” “like to,” “desire,” “hope for,” “prefer,” and “it would be better if.”
It is your job – your responsibility – to create as much happiness for yourself as you possibly can.
That requires these two things of you.
1-be aware of what brings you happiness, allowing yourself to want what that is with all your heart and striving mightily to bring it into reality.
2- while fully wanting what you want, never – ever – convince yourself it is life and death to have it
“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near her.
| Camera | Canon EOS 77D |
| Lens | Canon EF S18-55mm f/4-5.6G |
| Location | Sweden; somewere |
| Owner | All Rights reserved,original content by @swedishdragon |
