I waited very patiently to become a mother, it took me much longer than I ever imagined! But the wait was worth it. In 2015 my husband and I were blessed with the child we had prayed for, a beautiful baby boy. What we weren’t prepared for was his feisty spirit and unwavering stubbornness! As a previous teacher I had worked with many toddlers, but not once did I come across such a determined and strong-willed child as mine – while I waited patiently for him, he was sent to test my patience even further!
When people meet our son, they are usually instantly taken aback by his strong and uncontrollable personality. He has intense emotions, which he is not afraid to share and doesn’t react lightly to the word “no”. By all definitions, my little boy is definitely strong-willed! If you are in the same boat and have a kid like this, you know just what I am talking about. Very often, spirited children are acknowledged as “naughty” or “unruly”, but this can do so much harm to their very unique personalities.
<Here’s What Your Strong-Willed Children Want You To Know:
1. You are a good parent.
I am not feisty and headstrong because you raised me incorrectly. In fact, you are the best person to support me because you are the one who is constantly looking for answers, looking for ways to help and most of all, you always believe in me.
2. I am not a difficult child.
I know I test you at every opportunity, I know I like to push the limits. But please don’t call me a difficult child, I just might start to believe you.
3. I am not a spoiled brat.
You do not spoil me with toys and treats, I don’t demand these things. I don’t stomp my feet and throw myself on the ground because I am a horrid child. I am little and I am trying to make sense of all these big emotions I feel. I am trying to assert my independence and I am trying to communicate my frustrations. If you can help me deal with them, these strong emotions have the potential to change the world.
4. I am stubborn because I haven’t mastered the act of problem solving yet.
Spend time with me and help me to solve problems, instead of simply telling me how it should be. As little as I am, I have opinions and feelings too and I need to learn to understand that I can’t always have my way.
5. I prefer making my own choices.
I am independent like that. While I know you are in charge, my personality needs freedom to make up its own mind too. Set up choices for me within your boundaries and I won’t frustrate you as much. I love choosing what to wear and my own snacks.
6. I need stable routines.
Order and consistency helps me be prepared, which feeds my independence and makes me a much happier chappy.
7. I learn through experience.
I don’t like to always be told things, I want to learn about them and how to do them (or how not to do them). Set up activities where I can experience things with freedom, I am very capable of learning this way, in fact, this is how I learn best.
8. Please trust me?
I know that you know better, but I need to have the opportunity to make mistakes and learn for myself, I will fall, but I will get up again, I’m independent like that.
9. I will never be able to live “in a box”.
My mind isn’t built that way. I am a driven individual that sees things in a way that many others don’t. When I see an opportunity, I take advantage of it, despite the walls and obstacles in my way. I am a dreamer, a creator and I am not afraid to push the limits.
10. I’m a free spirit, but still, I need you!
As independent as I am I need you to understand that I need you on my side. Tell other’s how wonderful my personality is, do not make excuses for me. I need you to support me and guide me, not label me.
The thing is, kids are constantly being told that they are naughty, that they need to calm down or that they are not “the boss”. Why not get down to their level and change their inner language, guide them instead of labeling them. Take their personalities, as feisty as they are, and help turn them into something wonderful.
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