Negative experiences affect us stronger than positive. In fact, there are two to three positive experiences in order to outweigh one negative. Why is that? And how do we avoid focusing so much on the negative?
Most people probably know that one negative experience hits deeper than a positive one. It may be that your boss praises you with big words through a long conversation, but what you best remember is the tiny criticism he / she also had. Or you have a short quarrel with the girlfriend about a trifle just before a dinner you have been looking forward to for months. And the following day it's only the quarrel that fills your thoughts.
The negative feels the positive of the course.
It's no wonder. Ever since the beginning, our minds are determined to be more aware of threats, so everything that is perceived negatively is better than positive and safe, he says. In fact, there must be between two and three good experiences to beat a single negative experience of the course.
As you can guess, it's therefore important to increase the number of positive experiences so we can get more positive feelings and thus a better mood. Emotions are easy to create.
Write down three good things that have happened today before going to bed. Also, write why you perceive them as good because it will enhance the positive feelings associated with the experiences. By doing the exercise every evening you get your attention to what's positive in your life and you're generally more happy.
Give the good memories extra strength
The research also shows that, for example, we get excited about eating dark chocolate, watching a fun YouTube video, making a long list of things we're happy to do or writing a thank-you letter to someone we hold Off and then read it out loud for him.
If you have a positive experience, make sure you create a mental souvenir - for example, take a stone home from the beach you visited on your wonderful vacation. Every time you touch it in your pocket, you can recreate the lovely feelings from your vacation. You can also buy flowers and put them on your table, make sure to have photos of your beloved children in your office or go with a card in your pocket with encouraging words to yourself as you occasionally read up and read. The most important thing is that it must catch your attention and that it must be something you sincerely believe in.
It's not about picture itself that you are happy, but really feel that the experiences you give yourself are positive. Going around and saying positive affirmations to yourself that you do not believe in can just hurt you. It shows a study of male cardiac patients who made it worse to pretend they were better than they actually had.
5 ways to reinforce the positive emotions:
Share your good experience with others. Tell them how much you appreciate the moment. Research shows that it increases your enjoyment.
Help yourself to remember the positive experience by taking mental photographs or a physical souvenir such as A photograph or a rock from your favorite spot on the beach. Tell others later about it.
Congratulate yourself when you achieve something you have wanted. Do not be afraid to be proud. Tell yourself how impressed others were and how long you've been waiting for it to happen.
Sharpen your senses. Choose what you want to focus on, which gives you positive feelings. Close, for example. Eyes for a moment and close the alarm when you sit at the cafe and drink a nice cappuccino. Enjoy each sip and notice both taste, smell and texture.
Allow yourself to get swallowed and try not to think. Do not think of everything you should have done or what should happen afterwards. Exercise yourself to be fully present in the present and use your senses to let yourself be soaked.