It's February, how are you doing with your new years' resolutions? Not so good? Want to know why? Read on little fella, you are about to find out. Usually, people make all sorts of decisions in December and then make them again next December. What's the deal here? Why is it so difficult for us to make the first step and then stick to our intentions?
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LET'S TALK ABOUT BRAIN
People often mystify their decisions, behavior, and character by attributing them all sorts of magical characteristic and then turn to their emotions instead. I'm not saying we have to disregard our emotions but even that aspect can be seen from a solid, tangible, defined, and "not at all" mystical brain. Whether it's the way you tie your shoes or the way you sigh when you look at a beautiful picture, your brain is controlling your actions. Without going too deep into defining synapses and neurons, I will try to explain in layman's terms and simplify it because...
"If you can't explain it simple enough, you don't understand it well enough."
No, Albert Einstein did not say the above quote, stop believing memes are facts. Whoever said it is a genius in my book though. I strongly believe that if you do understand something you should be able to explain it to others. So here we go...
From a moment a person is born, his or hers senses affect the creation of new synapses, structures that permit neurons to pass an electrical or chemical signal to other neurons. They are gaps often referred to as junctions. With the help of synapses, the brain is in charge of the proper functioning of your organs and however enticing it may seem, you wouldn't want to consciously control your heart and lungs. Your concentration is really not at that high level, and besides, sometimes you do need to sleep. Your brain is perfectly adapted to keeping you alive, that is its only function, everything else is up to you.
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When an action is repeated, the synapses that define it are strengthened. First, you will have trouble tieing your shoes but as you repeat the action more and more, it will become easier, up to the point when you will be able to tie your shoes and talk or think about something else. You will do it without thinking about it on your conscious level. Synapses in charge of your every skill, reaction, decision or thought, function in the same way. Stronger the synapse the harder it is for you to do something different or new. What you call habits is nothing more than "stubborn" synapses :)
Even your thought "I don't have time for this" is a result of repeating that you don't have time and you don't have time and you just don't have time. "This" in the previous sentence can be reading, running or meeting new people. Maybe it's your reaction to people with different opinions from yours or cooking lunch in a different way. Statements like "This is how I do things" and "I can not change" are conditioned by your synapses and are nothing more than you refusing to take responsibility.
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WHAT IS CHANGE
Your life is not defined by your surroundings, parents, your professors, stars in the sky or some superior being with a toss of an imaginary destiny coin. I'm not taking away your right to justify your life, if you want to remain in the active role of a victim, go ahead. We live in a time when you have the right to think that the world is a cruel place and that you weren't born under a lucky star, but let us be realistic... Are you satisfied with what that kind of thinking has brought you so far?
The unknown is always scary, not because it has big teeth and will bite you but because synapses for it are not made yet. The brain is a fantastic organ, it is capable of creating new synapses until the day we die and it will never let you down.
"But it's hard," people say "to make yourself do something new. The old is known and we are so good at it."
The question is; what do you want? If you don't want something new why do you make new years resolutions? Why do you want to lose weight or quit your bad habits? Do you want to move or travel? When an idea is born, the possibility of her realization is born right along with her, and you are correct in thinking that it CAN'T be done just as you are correct in thinking that it CAN be done. Your thinking makes the reality out of CAN'T-s and CAN-s.
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Change doesn't happen, change is created, created by you. Thoughts about changing are also created by you, as well as your attitude towards them. Maybe you should think about that, first. Whatever you want, do it, then do it again and then do it again. You will see that with each repetition the action will become easier. Don't mystify or complicate, just do it. Be aware that in each moment, your thoughts and feelings are only habits, just stubborn synapses and YOU have the power to create new ones.
SOME ADVICE FOR DETERMINED ONES
Doctor Lawrence C. Katz and Manning Rubin are authors of an interesting book “Keep your brain alive” in which they bring numerous advice and exercises on how to keep your brain healthy, improve your memory and create new synapses more easily. Some of the advice they bring are communicating more with people throughout the day, smelling new scents, more reading and changing your routine.
The biggest advice that I can give you is to put yourself in new situations more often and enjoy them. Be satisfied and grateful for them. Program your brain so it loves learning and new experiences. This way you will overcome the biggest obstacle, the very beginning, how not to act negatively on something new. Start with a simple thing like reading an author that you usually wouldn't, going to a different restaurant or wearing a color that you didn't use to. In time, your synapses about accepting new things will strengthen and you will be able to talk to people you couldn't before, stick to your decisions, acquire new habits and change yourself for the better in ways you couldn't imagine or expect.
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Read, daydream, smile and enjoy life. You are the only one who is making it and the only one who is responsible for it. It will be as you make it. You can be a victim or you can be a creator. New synapses are the only thing that is keeping you away from anything you wish, and they are being built right now, by you.
Good luck!
Sources that I use and recommend:
great article in khanacademy.org
on synapse anatomy in britannica.com
learn almost everything on synapses in sciencedirect.com
Oh, and click on the image sources that I've provided, there are some interesting things there too :)