The Ultimate Silent Treatment and A Form of Emotional Cruelty
A few days ago, I came across an article about ghosting. Little did I know that I have actually experienced it myself in the past! I didn’t know there is such thing in psychology as ghosting and I was thrilled to have finally found some answers on why it made me feel awful.
*WHAT ACTUALLY IS GHOSTING
Ghosting is when one person just fades away from another person’s life without any explanation or closure. The person just chooses to withdraw all communications without providing a reason and leave without notice. It can be done by anyone, such as a family member, a friend, or any other acquaintance that one associates with.
WHY DO PEOPLE GHOST
Ghosting is a way to avoid any unpleasant confrontations. It is also a way to reject someone or cut ties with someone without a proper closure. The people who choose this method are usually the ones who are emotionally immature or don’t know how to deal with their feelings and find them overwhelming, often caused by anxiety or fear. It is easier for them to just ghost instead of taking the trouble to talk things out. As they pretend there is no underlying problem that is causing them to ghost, it gets swept under the carpet. They would rather keep it that way than confronting the actual issue. On the other hand, there can also be other reasons some people ghost. For instance, they do it to revenge their cheating partner. Some do it for safety and as a self-protection. This is mostly done by women.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE GHOSTED
The people who are ghosted usually feel rejected. They also feel disrespected and absolutely disregarded. They will feel like they have been punched right in the gut, betrayed and being played. Some may actually consume Tylenol to ease their emotional pain because "social rejection activates the same pain pathways in the brain as physical pain". They will be in a state of confusion as in what have they done to deserve such a cruel treatment and it might also take a toll on their self-esteem. They might develop a fear within them that they may be abandoned and feel anxiety whenever people don’t answer them. They could also be facing increased trust issues of being ghosted again when associating with close allies.
“Ghosting is the ultimate use of the silent treatment, a tactic that has often been viewed by mental health professionals as a form of emotional cruelty,” Dr. Jennice Vilhauer, Ph.D.
Sometimes, we can’t get a formal closure.
Have you ever been ghosted before? If you have then please do share your experience and how did you get through it. If you are being ghosted by someone and you are not able to confront them on it, maybe it is time to walk away from them. Sometimes the best closure is to accept that there is no closure and move on with life.
Pretty sure everyone gets their Karma in the end.
Sources:
“Ghosting” Explained
This Is Why Ghosting Hurts So Much
Ghosting: The Incredibly Heartless and Emotionally Immature Way to End a Relationship