...the backstabbing b!tc& that set-up a surprise birthday party for my then boyfriend whom you’ve had the hots for ever since, and then never told me about it until i found out from my sister because you had the nerve to invite her too and yet not think “omg, what if she told her and found out?” because you were too busy thinking up ways to snatch him right from under my nose, so i ended up looking like a great, big fool after i spent the whole day racking my brains out and going around to look for that perfect present for him
...who was actually successful in making us break up, though he doesn’t know that was one of the many reasons, among other things
...who turned him and our friends against me by bad-mouthing me not in the most discreet of ways but by being oh-so-unbelievably-fake-plastic-boobs-charming while you’re at it, and who always manages to turn things around by using psych-sht experiments on me so i'd feel sad and envious and then angry at myself and not you that some bigwig's pending ethics case would be put to shame ...and who thinks she knows me but obviously not well enough to remember that i rarely ever talk, if at all. and that this venting out is called t h e r a p y. or have u forgotten that too?
...who, before u think you're that important to have a note written about, i hope does not suffer from short attention span anymore though so you can read the disclaimer at the end of this ...and who for the love of God, is still trying to convince yourself u have a happy marriage but just had to name one of your kids (weren't u the one who asked to leave the kids ---or anyone else not involved for that matter--- out of complicated "grown-up, mature" stuff?) after my above-mentioned then boyfriend several years after (unless...omg, I’m not going there), and secretly raving about the fact that neither one of us has him now
...and who i think is still punishing me for not making you use the name i had picked out first back when we were kids playing make-believe, and for not swapping that special stationary my grandma gave me with you
...who thinks it's still ok to be friends after I've missed crucial moments which I cannot get back and lost several years of my life (which is about the same amount of time it took yourself to get married and pregnant, bear that full-term, and celebrate many birthdays, holidays and other special occasions with family and friends) in isolation like u have no idea, no thanks to you
...and who still cannot come to terms with the fact that you are older than I am and therefore need to know better too (but you’re reading this anyways so that pretty much says everything)
...who, while you're probably right in thinking that i have no clue of the joys and pains of being a mother, must know too that that experience can only be worthwhile if you teach by example and you follow-through
…and who thinks you know all about friendship AND love but doesn’t realize that had you been totally honest about it in the past, you would have gotten the love you longed for AND still have a friend in me, but sadly never really understood it was NOT either friendship OR love …who wants forgiveness but is too proud or afraid to ask for it
…who is trying to get into my life once again and probably cooking up another evil plot to get to me and ruin my otherwise peaceful life (which is more than what I can say for you)
...and who just can't seem to be happy for others, and i pray that you learn that anger is so pointless and senseless and drains so much of our energy which can be channeled into more fruitful endeavours, like say, this note --- so get over it ...and who is giving me a really hard time trying to keep to my mantras: "always be good even if others are not" and "the best way to say something is to not say anything at all"
phew.
yeah, and you're realizing this just now.
...otherwise, get a life. i mean get on with your life. go on now...move along...
_*This story is based on / inspired by actual events. The events depicted in this note are fictitious. In certain cases incidents, characters and timelines have been changed for dramatic purposes. Any similarity or resemblance to real person/s, living or dead, is unintentional and merely coincidental. Certain characters may be composites, or entirely fictitious. Or I wish they were. _
_*This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my real friends, or my dog. _
*(Hopefully) No real b!tc&es were harmed before, during and after the writing of this note. They're either too dense or too insensitive for that.
_*Reader assumes full responsibility. Brains not included. _
*For recreational use only. This note dimwit, not me.
this monologue was originally published on the Voices of Women podcast. if you enjoyed this, please click on the love button. you can also send a tip to show you loved it. thanks heaps :)