On this day in 2005 was my first day without Meth. I used that drug for almost 5 years straight. I was trapped in a sea of guilt, shame and remorse for the life that I had built for myself. I was a total wreck. I was psychotic and delusional. It had warped my fantastic brain in ways that would stun the best neurologist.
My Life Stats 2005
I was 24.
Homeless.
126 lbs. on a medium frame made me look like a skeleton.
I couldn't eat.
I couldn't sleep.
I lied.
I stole.
I cheated.
I broke the hearts of people who believed in me.
I was broke, spending every last dime to get high.
Fast forward to 2017, I have so much to live for now. I can hold a regular job. I have a roof over my head. Food to eat. I get normal sleep most of the time. I have a woman in my life who loves me for the struggles i have lived through. Twelve long years, sometimes I wanted to give up and return to the old life but I have friend who pick me up when I get down and out. They help me realize I have a lot more to lose nowadays. they feed me full of positive support.
Today is a benchmark for me, it has been a long hard struggle to get here. I didn't do it alone. I had love and guidance to help me climb the stairs to success. I believe in myself and have a positive attitude most of the time. I don't have many aggressive thoughts or actions anymore. I am pretty chill and easygoing now that I don't do hard drugs. People genuinely want to chat with me and I can have worthwhile relationships without the drama of the next bag. Pretty freakin' cool.
My Life Stats 2017
I have a stable job.
I have a Wife who loves me.
I have food to eat.
Money to spend.
I weigh 194 lbs. (slimming down).
I can sleep regularly.
I have a solid cell phone.
I can have real relationships with people not just because I want something.
I rarely lie.
I don't steal.
I don't cheat.
I have future that is visible.
And many, many, more to add..
I am going to celebrate today with Rockstar and candy bars! I deserve it. I am gonna party like it's 2005 but without the drugs.
Woohoo! Oh.. Yeah!! #getschwifty in here!
I welcome any comments and insight as to how I can keep this ball rolling.