Are you constantly griping about what your spouse isn’t doing in a relationship or ur in ur marriage ? Are you constantly berating him/her for not doing something the way you do? Does it feel like you’re constantly repeating yourself? If so, then sorry to say it, but you’re a nagger!
And, believe it or not, your nagging is falling on deaf ears.
You may think that constantly nagging your spouse about the trash will make him remember that he must take out the garbage. However, that’s not the way it happens and only leads to anger and frustration. While some of it may be him, more of the nagging has to do with you as women. There are three types of nagging that women fall into – which one do you fall under?
1)Critical Nagging – You’re constantly butting in when you have not even been asked for help. You claim to know more than your other half and would rather help even though it wasn’t requested.
The best thing you can do is nothing until your help is invited. Just go about what you’re doing and see if your husband needs your assistance.
2)Hostile Nagging – This the kind of nagging where you’re upset and taking it out on your significant other who may be in a relatively good mood until he realizes you are not. When he doesn’t come to help you right away, you’re even more upset and get the job done faster. When he does come to help, he gets mad because you got the job done and didn’t really need his help but were mad at him anyway.
The best way to address this is to come to an agreement about the help.
3)Anxious Nagging – You may have a list of things you want to get done, and need the assistance of your spouse to get it done. You make mention of it, and he says sure but doesn’t make any effort to help move things along. By day five or six, you’re getting agitated by his lack of help and decide that tomorrow is the day something gets done – to which he replies, he’s already said he’ll do it with you and you just need to sit down and get it done.
The best thing you can do is pick a date to get the job done. Stop nagging and get the project moving along so it’s done and you can quit being upset with one another.
Did you know that nagging is the result of poor communication between a couple? Constantly nagging your spouse about something is a sign that you don’t trust him, that you don’t care about his feelings or you feel like he doesn’t care about yours. Nagging can lead to a host of issues within a relationship – what are the three effects nagging as on a relationship?
Effect 1 – Arguments
If you feel like your words are being ignored, it can lead to nagging, which then leads to arguments between the two of you. He may begin to resent you for your continuous nagging, and that may lead to him do other things that upset you. Before long, you’re in a heated battle (argument) with your significant other, and that could lead to even more problems down the road.
Effect 2 – Resentment
Constantly nagging your spouse can lead to feelings of resentment. When you feel resentment, it can lead to grudges. Once grudges start occurring, it can be harder for you to overcome these negative feelings. It may impact other areas of your relationship as well.
Effect 3 – No More Fun
When a couple feels irritated by each other – feels resentment toward one another – they don’t feel like spending time together. In fact, they may spend more time apart with friends than with each other. They may even sleep in separate rooms and eat at different times. They just don’t go out like they used to for fun.
Effect 4 – Little To No Commutation
Women are often under the mistaken impression that nagging is communicating. However, it’s not. Nagging isn’t talking positively. In fact, it doesn’t solve any problems that you and your spouse may have. If there is a problem you are having with your spouse, it’s important to talk calmly about it.
Effect 5 – You Start Seeing One Another As An Enemy
Nagging leads to a host of negative thoughts and feelings in a relationship. The more the nagging, the more you start to wonder if the relationship is something you should even continue. You may regard your spouse as enemy number one and decide that it’s time to move on.
Nagging can be extremely damaging to a relationship. As a woman, you need to recognize when you’re being a nag and make a conscious effort to stop. For some, this may not be easy to do. Just ask yourself if something is worth the nag, and if something is important, consider approaching it in another way that doesn’t come across as a nag. Do that, and your relationship will flourish.
YOU CAN STOP NAGGING BY FOLLOWING THESE. ...
Tip 1. Term this
Carefrontation Approach
the term “carefrontation,” which is different from confrontation. Carefrontation reminds your spouse that you don’t think of him as a child who can’t do anything right. When you use carefrontation, you don’t go into the talk looking for a fight. You actually start to resolve things.
Tip 2 – Lighten The Mood To Explain Your Feelings
Rather than berating him for being a guy, consider making jokes about the situation. Jokes lighten the mood. If he’s got a bad habit of leaving the toilet seat up, tell him you’re fearful of drowning every time you walk into the bathroom after him. Or, if you’d like a little help with the cooking, let him know that you’re stressed out having to cook after long meetings at work. And, ask him what can be done about it.
When you make a person feel like a bad guy, they’re going to look for any opportunity to escape… not help!
Tip 3 – Your Team Consists of You and Him
Believe it or not, a man sometimes forgets to put the toilet seat down. He’s not out to get you or drive you crazy. If you talk to him like you’re in this relationship together and share a compromise, it makes him remember to do things that you’d like for him to do. If you go to him with the “You did it again,” he’s just going to let it go in one ear and out the other.
Tip 4 – Offer Timelines and Solutions
If there’s a particular job you need to have done, the last thing you want to do is nag the spouse about it. Instead, come up with a timeline and solution.
For instance, you’d like to have the lawn mowed soon. Instead of nagging him about it, see if he can get it done by a particular day and, if he’s unable, that you wouldn’t mind calling in a lawn mowing company to do the chore for him. You may get a response of “Please do” or “No, that’s too expensive, and I can get it done.” Chances are, he’ll have that lawn mowed before you know it.
When you offer a compromise and solution, there’s no fighting between the two of you.
Tip 5 – Let Him Know He’s Sexy Doing Chores
If you think a man is sexy when he’s cooking or cleaning in the kitchen, let him know that. If you think his getting all hot, sweaty and dirty mowing the loan is sexy, tell him. If a man acquires sex because he did the dishes or mowed the lawn, he’ll do more for you. Careful though; you’ll need to follow through on the sex.
Tip 6 – Don’t Make Assumptions; Have A Little Compassion
How a person acts is often dictated by a reason. If you understand that he has a busy schedule and isn’t lazy in getting chores done, the problem will be addressed much faster.
Tip 7 – He Can’t Read Your Mind
Believe it or not ladies, a man cannot read your mind . So, unless you tell him something has to change because it’s no longer working, he’s not going to know. You have to tell him, and he’ll understand. He may even come up with solutions to the problem at hand. Never assume he knows something is wrong because chances are, he has no idea.
In conclusion....
How to stop being a nagging wife?
Healthy Communication is the key to quit your nagging. If you fail to communicate with your significant other properly, nagging will be the eventual results. A relationship takes two people – a team – that works together to make it work. Speak to your spouse like you did when you first met, and you’ll eliminate the nagging entirely.